There is so much talk around the baby milestones — the first roll over, the first time they crawl, their first tooth, and, of course, the ever popular first time they sleep through the night.
But one thing I realized after having my first child is that "Mommy Milestones" were a thing and they should be celebrated.
We are literally turned inside out (regardless of how we became a mother), and there are firsts for us that matter because it’s how we measure our mom wins and what makes us feel normal.
I'll never forget my biggest milestone. It happened when my son was three months old. We had gone to the grocery store and he fell asleep in the car on the way home. I was able to get all the groceries inside, put them away, and made my lunch without him waking up. I carried him inside and put him in a bassinet that my father had made for him that we kept in our living room.
I made a bowl of tuna salad and sat on the floor in the sunshine. The house was so quiet, and the sun was hitting my face. It was a normal Tuesday afternoon, yet I felt so unbelievably happy, and I realized why: For the first time since being a mother, I felt a glimmer of my old self. I’d been able to finish a task, get lost in my own thoughts without rushing around or feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
I realized at that moment that it was the first time since having a baby I felt a bit like the woman I was before I had him. I don’t know why it came at that moment, but it did.
And there are other Mommy Milestones that we moms experience that can really make our day, like…
Taking that first poop
After you have a baby, this is a huge deal. It is nerve-wracking leading up to it, but once it happens, you feel like you can do anything.
Getting rid of the pads
No one told me I’d be bleeding for over a month. I kept waiting for it to stop, but it didn’t for what seemed like forever. The day the bleeding does stop, and you no longer have to wear pads or big underpants and your vag gets some air, the second part of your life begins.
The first uninterrupted meal
The joy of being able to sit through a whole meal without having to nurse, bottle feed, tend to a baby, change a diaper, or hear cries is wasted on the wrong people, meaning everyone who isn’t a mom. I never knew how much I could appreciate being able to eat a plate of anything without holding a child, and I never take it for granted to this day.
The first uninterrupted shower
No, taking an uninterrupted shower isn’t a break or a mini vacation. However, the first time you are able to soap up and slow down without being interrupted by a child, you cherish it. When you become a mother, you have no idea how many of these you are going to get, so you soak them up.
The first uninterrupted poop
I nursed while pooping. I’ve applied a Band-Aid while pooping. I’ve pooped while listening to my baby scream or my kids fight. Damn, I’ve played games and read books on that throne. Like the shower, pooping alone isn’t a vacation, but you never know how many solo bowel movements you are going to get, so you appreciate them. Who knew you’d be the type of person to be in a better mood after taking a good crap alone?
The first solo outing
Whether it’s to the grocery store, out with a friend, or for a walk, the first outing alone feels strange and freeing at the same time. Every mom I’ve talked to said they couldn’t wait for this, only to rush back home to their baby. It’s just the way it is.
The first block of uninterrupted sleep
Even if it’s only for a few hours, this is an epic feeling. Some moms wait a year for this, and some get lucky and will get that much-needed uninterrupted sleep within the first few weeks. It doesn’t matter — it always feels glorious.
The first time you wear clothes that aren’t maternity
No, this isn’t about fitting into your old clothes. It’s about wearing something that isn’t made for a pregnant woman and makes you feel like yourself. I went out and got new bras, jeans, and a few tops a few months after having my son. I felt sad I couldn’t fit into my old clothes, then I realized my body wasn’t the same body it was before I had him. The truth is, even if you lose all the weight, your old clothes might not ever fit the same — and that’s OK!
And for so many of us, the biggest milestone is that glimpse of our old selves and who we used to be before we became a mom. Yes, they are fleeting, but like that time I sat on the kitchen floor eating a bowl of tuna on a freezing winter day, the feeling I had was like a warm hug — I felt peaceful and hopeful. It doesn’t matter when those moments come. What matters is that they will come — probably when you least expect it.
