We did it, I thought to myself, looking out the window triumphantly. We made it!
It was our first time traveling as a family of four. With a toddler and a preschooler in the mix, not to mention my 7-months-pregnant belly, my husband and I had been very nervous about how it would all go down. Just as cliche as could be, we had trekked across the country to take a spur-of-the-moment trip to Disney, and shockingly, it had gone off without a hitch. With just about an hour left of the flight, I settled down in my seat, finally feeling my shoulders relax in relief that we had pulled it off.
And then it happened.
As the plane began its descent, my 15-month-old daughter woke up and all hell broke loose. Stuck somewhere between consciousness and sleep, exhausted from the trip and the late hour, and totally not in her nice, warm bed, she lost it. I could tell that the pressure on her ears was killing her, but she was so distraught that even my carefully prepacked suckers just for that purpose would not suffice. For the entire last hour of the trip, she screamed in that blood-curdling, back-arching, completely hysterical way that anyone who has had kids will recognize.
It was bad.
It was so bad, in fact, that because I had been seated across the aisle from my husband, who was holding her, I actually considered pretending I didnโt know them. (I didnโt do that, for the record, but it didnโt matter anyway because she was beyond consoling.)
Needless to say, that travel incident scarred us, and it was a while before we flew again with our kids. But as sweat-inducing as that breakdown was, it also opened my eyes to the simple truth that I wish other people knew about traveling with kids:
Itโs so much harder for us than it is for you.
No, seriously. I know you might see us board the plane with our arms full of kids and diaper bags and backpacks overflowing with electronic devices, and you might cringe, hoping we wonโt sit anywhere near you, but I can guarantee that we are dreading it just as much as you are. Because traveling with kids โ from the amount of prep work to the stress of constantly worrying about their safety to the sheer logistics of changing a diaper on a plane โ is hard enough without the added worry of wondering what everyone else thinks.
For the entire last hour of the trip, she screamed in that blood-curdling, back-arching, completely hysterical way that anyone who has kids will recognize.
Most of us parents travel with kids not because we love the experience of being trapped on a metal tube shooting through the sky for hours on end with a baby in our laps, but because we are trying to enrich our children, visit loved ones, or are making a trip that we really don’t have to justify. I know a mom, for instance, who was judged for flying with her young son when he was on his way to have freaking heart surgery. Talk about the importance of not making assumptions!
The point is, a lot of us with kids are overly sensitive about even stepping foot on a plane, knowing we are going to get judged simply for existing. We may try to plaster a calm and nonchalant look on our faces, as if we’re the type of cool parents that travel all the time, with our chill kids who also eat their vegetables without us asking, but inside, we are silently pleading to just make it through. Because honestly, even the best, most well-behaved children can have a bad day that just happens to coincide with traveling. Traveling, even for adults who do it all of the time, can be overwhelming and exhausting, so to expect small children to make it through without so much as a single whine? Yeah, no โ thatโs not happening.
Here is my plea to anyone who may see a child like mine screaming on a plane: Please know that we arenโt trying to torture you. In fact, we have dreaded this very moment. If youโre bothered by the sound of my child but youโre not actually the one trying to corral a hysterical toddler on your lap with sweat streaming down your back and tears in your eyes, isnโt it easier for you to just look away?
Because I think, honestly, thatโs the best thing for all of us.
Signed,
A parent who just tried to give her kid a freaking magical vacation, OK? Sorry!
