Dear friends and family,
I love you all, and I hope that your holidays are going awesome. I don’t actually know because I haven’t seen any of you since last March, some of you even longer than that. We’re all over it. Thanks to a world pandemic, I’ve missed meeting my now 8-month-old nephew when he was born, I missed my sister’s wedding, and I even missed the chance to celebrate my own daughter’s quinceañera and had to reschedule for 2021 because the world went into lockdown the day before her party was supposed to happen in 2020. Thanks to the coronavirus and underlying conditions, 2020 has basically been canceled.
Yes, I’m mad about all of it
I’m diabetic. To be safe from this very real, scientifically-proven-to-exist virus, I’ve had to basically remain in quarantine this entire time like a prisoner of rational thinking and intelligence because others refuse to do their part or even believe the virus exists. I seldom leave the house and never without a mask. It’s making sane people do crazy things.
I wash my hands so often that they are dried, cracked, and chapped. The last time I hugged my parents was before the pandemic was in existence, to our knowledge. My own children can’t even attend school in person because other people can’t be trusted to wear a small piece of cloth on their face to save our lives. It’s gotten increasingly easy to see who cares about others and who doesn’t.
I see you
However, over time, the world has tried to go back to “normal” — whatever that may be now. I’m not sure why, because cases are on the rise, hospitals are at capacity, and we’re now in cold and flu season.
The most unthinkable things like unexpectedly losing healthy loved ones is becoming common place for all of us. Still, schools are opening back up to in-person classes. Just a few weeks ago, even the high school football games were at capacity. Yet people are refusing to wear their masks and are planning to celebrate the holidays with family and friends. Meanwhile, over 300,000 Americans have died.
I know that some of you are planning small get-togethers for the holidays
I got the invitations. Believe me, I’m suffering a horrible case of FOMO at missing the annual charades games, white elephant exchange, the cocktails, and tall tales shared among only people you are related to often and don’t get to see nearly enough.
I miss the hugs and laughter more than anything else. I miss nieces and nephews laying on couches and playing with new toys. I even miss the teens making TikToks.
Mostly, I miss the warmth that fills the rooms ambiently lit by Christmas lights as we all gather around food and overdue conversations. I miss my dad playing the guitar and grabbing my mom and spontaneously dancing the most. I miss it all, down to the smell of the Christmas candles burning at my mother-in-law’s and the smell of my mom’s house that instantly transports me back to my childhood.
Nobody wants to compromise their own wants — especially during the holidays — and so many people are still playing by pre-pandemic rules. So when you still have weddings and receptions, barbecues, sporting events, and holiday gatherings, I have to be the crazy, dramatic, overly cautious one because I have the underlying condition.
Apparently, that makes it a “me” problem instead of a “you” problem
We’ve lost family and friends to this virus. Tonight I just got a text from my best friend, who is a nurse, saying that she’s tested positive for COVID-19. I’m afraid. There are people I will never see again thanks to this pandemic. They are gone forever. Death is not reversible.
How can anyone rationalize that getting together to exchange white elephant gifts is worth the risk? Would I like to hug my parents and my brothers and sisters? Hell yeah. Do I miss my nieces and nephews? More than I can convey. Is it breaking my heart to not be able to see the people I love the most for almost an entire year? Definitely. But are our lives worth sacrificing for events we can simply postpone or do virtually?
Postponing get-togethers and celebrations is hard but necessary for everyone right now. It’s the right thing to do. Dancing at a reception or having a few drinks at a barbecue is not worth the risk of potentially killing our parents. Are you willing to sacrifice all of the Christmases, birthdays, and weddings for the rest of our lives for the the ones in 2020?
I’m not
I love you enough to sacrifice my immediate happiness for your life, but are you willing to say the same?
Cheers to next year. I hope we’re all still here to have the opportunity to celebrate. Please wear your masks, practice social distancing, and wash your hands. I’ll be sending virtual hugs, and how about a rousing game of Christmas charades via Zoom? Maybe it’s not tamales and buneulos in the house we grew up in, but at least we can be “together” in the same Zoom room and keep one another safe.
Until then, I’ll hopefully see you all next year.
