Real Moms Talk: What I Wish I’d Known About Motherhood

“To all you helicopter-moms-in-the-making out there, please heed my most sound advice: Let your kid fall down, get dirty, cry, get hurt, brush himself off and keep playing. Coaching lovingly from the sidelines will do wonders for the development of your kid's self-confidence, self-esteem and self-reliance.”

— Darah Zeldon, mother of five; Plantation, Fla.

“I became a single mother in 1993 at the age of 22. I wish I had known that I didn't have to parent like my mother did. I was often too strict and overbearing, because I was duplicating my own childhood. I wish I didn't strive so hard to be the perfect mom and accepted that it was OK to have days where the dishes were in the sink or it was OK to have waffles for dinner. I put too much pressure on myself to live up to an ideal standard, and it impaired my mother-daughter relationship in her teenage years. But once I learned to ease up a bit and relax more, I became a better mother. My daughter is now a junior at Baylor University, and our relationship is healthy, but it took some trial and error to get it that way."

— Crystal Brown-Tatum, mother of one; Dallas

“Pockets. I wish I would have known how much I would appreciate pockets after becoming a mom. My entire wardrobe has changed now, and I can honestly tell you that there is nothing more annoying than finally sitting down with a sleeping baby on your chest and realizing you left your cell phone on the kitchen table. I kid you not, I don't wear outfits that don't have pockets deep enough to keep my cell phone on my person at all times!”

— Kate Brochu, mother of two; New York City

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“I had a steep learning curve with the challenges that my first daughter threw me. Listen to your intuition. While you may not have all the answers, you will know when somebody says something that does not sound right. I know when a diagnosis is incorrect, I know when doctors and teachers think I am overreacting (even though they are not seeing the full picture), and I know when I need to look into something further before making a decision despite recommendations. You truly know your child best, and, as a parent, that sixth sense kicks in. You will know way more than it seems like you should — or at least know that you need to keep searching.”

— Lindsay Christianson, mother of two; Minneapolis, Minn.

“I wish I’d known way back when that it is important to have goals and aspirations about how you want to raise your kids. Those standards are your guiding light. However, there will be days when it is simply enough to just make it through the day. And that's OK, too.”

— Michele Howe, mother of four; Lasalle, Mich.

“I wish I would have understood the importance of receiving. I don't think I would have been able to hear, or even understand, this message at the beginning stages of parenting. Naively, I thought that being a mother would come naturally — and for the most part, it does. What was less natural was accepting support from others. I thought that something was wrong with me when I couldn't do it all myself. In hindsight, I wish I would have asked for more help. I wish I would have said yes to every invitation for someone to bring me a meal, clean my house or hold my baby while I napped. I wish I would have allowed myself the opportunity to let go of doing it all so that I could pause, take a breath and simply be in the moment of being a new mother.”

— Star Staubach, mother of three; Cincinnati

“Expect to receive unsolicited comments from complete strangers. We live in a city and are out at least four times a day with the stroller. We receive comments about everything from why we're walking in a certain weather condition to Roya's desire — or lack thereof — to interact with a complete stranger. Comments also ensue about her outfits, or whenever she's doing something ‘cute.’

"Develop a blend of thick skin and nonchalance. Smile and just keep on walking. As long as your baby is content and healthy, a stranger's opinion is irrelevant.”

— Stef Woods, mother of one; Washington, D.C.

“I wish I would have set a schedule for my son a lot sooner, as in: specific times for naps, feedings, bath time, story time, play time and so on. Schedules are unbelievably boring and mundane to me. But when we stay on schedule, everyone in our house is happier and less grumpy! As crazy as it sounded to me at the time — that babies and children are happier and better adjusted when they have routines — it really is true.”

— Theresa Turchin, mother of one; Miami, Fla.