10 Rules for Your Child’s Birthday Party While They’re in School

Etiquette goes a long way, especially when it comes to the messages we send our children. Take note of these important points when it comes to inviting friends to your child’s birthday party.

1. Avoid hurt feelings by inviting your child’s entire class to the party
One way to alleviate hurt feelings is to invite the whole class. I mean, what kid wouldn’t want to be the center of their classmate’s attention for one full day?

2. If inviting the whole class isn’t feasible, don’t pass invitations out during school hours
You definitely don’t want to have anyone feel left out. So if you’re unable to invite the whole class, try to connect with parents outside of school hours and invite children privately.

Lyn, a teacher in Massachusetts, explained how her school handles birthdays. “The rule here in my district — especially in the younger grades, K-2 — is unless invitations are for the whole class then they are frowned upon in the classroom,” she told Mom.com.

3. Be respectful of instructional time and the teacher’s responsibilities
With the current national teacher shortage, increased class sizes, limited instruction time and controversy around what educators should or shouldn’t be teaching students in today’s political climate, our teachers are overwhelmed. If you want to plan something for your child’s classroom, ask first.

Many teachers already include monthly student birthday celebrations into their schedule so you can work alongside your child’s teacher toward that common goal. The bottom line though, be mindful of classroom time and always ask permission before showing up with treats or cupcakes.

Keep intentions clear, to avoid hurt feelings — or big headaches.

4. Are siblings welcome? Clarify within the invitation to avoid confusion and awkward conversations
If you’re unable to accommodate the entire family, it’s important to include this information on the invitation. This will alleviate any on-the-spot questions when those RSVP phone calls start rolling in. Address the invitation to the child invited by adding in a personal note, “We can’t wait to see Hailey!” However, if you can accommodate additional guests, include the phrase “siblings welcome,” or “the more the merrier.”

5. Specify whether or not you expect parents to stay for the duration of the party
Some parents will be comfortable with leaving their kids at the party, others may not. Be mindful of this when sending out invitations. Hosting a “drop-off only” party may make some families uncomfortable so if you don’t have the space to accommodate a parent or guardian, you may want to consider an alternative venue.

6. What to bring for a classroom birthday celebration
Once you’ve received the teacher’s permission to host a classroom celebration, make sure to keep it safe. Most school districs have policies in place that dictate what parents can and cannot bring to school, but if you’re unsure, just ask.

The Institute of Child Nutrition indicates that 1 in every thirteen children have food allergies — that equates to about two children per classroom — so be sure to inquire about food allergies among your child’s classmates ahead of time.

Goodie bags filled with stickers, pencils, erasers and mini notebooks are the safest choice for for classroom celebrations and still allow your children to celebrate with friends without posing any potential health risks.

7. Make party prep easy with downloadable birthday invitations
Sites like Etsy and Canva offer a wide a wide variety of printable birthday invitation templates that you can easily download and print in one weekend, which is especially helpful if you’re pressed for time or are planning a last-minute party. Or, if you’d rather go zero-waste and save time, energy and trees, virtual invitations like these from Paperless Post fit the bill.

“My people honestly opt for e-vites or reaching out directly to each family. Most classes give a classroom directory with cell phone numbers or emails to help with that,” Lyn told Mom.com.

If you’re like me, you may remember birthday parties at friends’ houses, crowded around the kitchen table or spread out in the backyard. If you were really lucky, your parents let you have a party at McDonald’s complete with the classic Ronald McDonald cake. While McDonald’s doesn’t quite hit the same way it did in the eighties and nineties, there are some venues that will accommodate your child’s entire classroom.

8. Sit back and relax with a kids’ birthday bowling party
One caveat to having a birthday party for the whole class is trying to keep everyone occupied and entertained. Take the pressure off by hosting a birthday party at your local bowling alley, an easy and efficient way to host the entire class.

Parties are typically 2-hours long and sometimes include pizza and cake — though you may have to bring your own. Find a kid-friendly bowling alley near you through the Kids Bowl Free Summer Program database. (The birthday party bowling, of course, won’t be free, but this database is a good place to start because these bowling alleys cater to kids).

9. Send kids home calm, cool, and collected with a yoga-themed birthday party
Some yoga studios offer birthday party packages for children with yoga or movement activities, crafts, games, food, and cake. This is a great alternative to the bright, noisy environment of most kid-friendly venues.

10. Let your child celebrate with friends at school with low-key birthday treats for everyone
If you’d rather not put together a big celebration but still want your child to share their birthday with friends at school, talk to their teacher about what is acceptable to bring to the classroom. Create goodie bags filled with stickers, pencils, and erasers instead of snacks and candy. Easy activities are a good idea for younger grades.

“Bring in a favorite book for the teacher to read to the class,” blogger and mom of four Katie Kimball suggested. “For younger grades with picture books; be sure to get permission from the teacher first, although most teachers would probably rather spend 10 minutes reading than 15 minutes passing out napkins and cleaning up crumbs!”