When you become a mom, your whole world changes. Suddenly, you know that nothing in the whole world is more important than the little bundle you are holding. You know you would do anything for this little one. You’d bend over backwards, and risk your life and your sanity just to keep them safe and healthy and far away from the awful challenges that are sure to come their way.
It’s innate, this willingness to do anything for our kids. And it’s just the way it was intended — parents protect their babies. It’s necessary for their survival … until it isn’t.
The thing is, as parents, we are needed so much for so long that when it comes time for us to let go, we just can’t. What is life like without your kiddos' needs at the center of it? We find ourselves making excuses as to why it’s OK that we still help our kids a little more than necessary.
“I don’t mind doing it.”
“They’re only young once.”
“Soon they won’t need me at all.”
“What harm can it do?”
The answer to that last one? A lot.
Helping your kids too much once they get older not only isn’t necessary, it also can be harmful to them. Here are just a few reasons why babying your kids is not a good idea.
It affects their self-worth
Just as helping them makes us feel good and useful, so does them helping themselves.
It can lead to a dysfunctional relationship
If kids rely too heavily on their parents they could easily learn to do on their own, they also easily place the blame on their parents when something doesn’t go to plan. Kids might say something like, “You didn’t wash my uniform and I have a game!” or “I’m going to get a bad grade on my science project because we didn’t start it early enough.”
It hinders their future relationships
We all joke about husbands who don’t pull their weight around the house. Many times, this is caused by a wife who was just a little too helpful. If your kids don’t learn to cook, grocery shop, do laundry, and tidy up after themselves because you do it for them, you better bet they will have the same unrealistic expectations of their future spouse.
It stunts their maturity
Part of growing up is dealing with the hard stuff through trial and error. If the parent is constantly coming to the rescue and takes care of everything when catastrophes inevitably occur, the child is being robbed of a learning opportunity along with that capable feeling of success when they solve problems on their own.
So, the next time you run to help your kid, ask yourself, “Is this something they could start doing themselves?
The next time you are tempted to bail your kid out of a frustrating situation, do a mental check. “In the long run, is this helping them grow or stunting their ability to solve their own problems?”
Moms, we love to be needed, but realize that sometimes, what your kid really needs is for you to let them do it on their own. This way, when they're finally a grown-up, they'll actually be able to act like one.
