My son was a freshman in high school when he started dating a girl who went to a different school. He asked me if he could go to her house one day after school, and I told him it was fine, but that when I dropped him off, I needed to meet at least one of her parents.
He told me how dumb that was, and I let him know I needed to touch base with a parent because, for starters, I wasn’t going to drop him off without a parent there, and two, I needed to make sure her parents were fine with me dropping off my 14-year-old son at their house. It’s common courtesy — teenagers don’t need to be spending time alone after school all the time, and I wouldn’t appreciate it if some random kid showed up at my house unexpectedly as their mom sped out of my driveway.
When I called the girl’s mother, then met her in person, she thanked me and said, “You are one of the few parents who has ever checked in to make sure I’ll be home when your child is here.” Of course, that sent my son over the edge and was the most embarrassing moment of his life.
Frequently my kids tell me I’m too overprotective and they live a very sheltered life
I’ve told them over and over that I have to do what I feel is right as their mother, and they can come and go as they please when they have a place of their own. Being overprotective is in my bones and it feels like the only way I can be their mother.
Right now my life consists of three teens coming in and out of my house. I let them have their space, contrary to their belief. Take today, for example — my son is staying after school with two of his friends. They are going to the local ice cream joint. And even though I am "the most overprotective mother in the world" and never let them leave the bubble known as our house, I am letting him go! They are even walking there and I’m not going to follow them in the car!
I do, however, want to know where he is going to be and told him that if they decide to go anywhere else, he needs to tell me. I also told him what time I’ll be there to pick him up, and when he asked if they could come over for dinner, I said no because that’s our sacred family time.
I have a lot of nerve, don’t I?
When my kids are staying at a friend's house or their dad’s, I always text to make sure they got there safely. If they aren’t with me, I text them good night. When my son drives everyone to school, I need confirmation they all got there safely. The nights when my oldest is out later than my bedtime, I tell him to wake me up when he gets home just in case I don’t hear him come in.
In their defense, I have forgotten they’ve woken me up and gone in to double-check they are home at 1 a.m., which wakes them up. There have been times they aren’t with me, and I’ve had a disturbing dream that something has happened to them and I send them a text or call first thing in the morning. And I double and triple check that they have everything they need if they are going to be away from me, or if I'm leaving them for more than a few hours.
I smother them with hugs and kisses and tell them how much I love them several times a day
They are my top priority – nothing comes before them, and there have been times they haven't told me something because they didn’t want me to worry too much or think the worst, something I know I do.
I know I can be a lot. I realize I check in on them more than a lot of their friends’ parents check on them. I have tried to find a good balance ever since I became a mother because I don’t want to suffocate them or have them resent me, but if I'm being honest, I'm an overprotective mom who will drop anything to be there for my kids.
Being a mom was all I ever wanted to do, and I'm so lucky to have three beautiful, amazing kids
That will never be lost on me, and they will always be the most important part of my life.
This may drive them crazy now, but I know there will be times when they're thankful I am the way I am and they'll find comfort in the fact I'm overjoyed to see them, or thatI pick up the phone on the first ring, or that they have that extra water bottle and snack I put in their backpack even though they told me they didn’t need it.
Maybe they’ll never tell me, but that’s OK. All I need is to be able to do what feels normal and natural to me. If that means I’m a helicopter mom or too much for some — including my own kids — I’m fine with that.
