The Most Extreme Parenting Fads

This disturbing movement dates to 1994, when Michael and Debi Pearl published a book called To Train up a Child that promotes hitting poorly behaved kids with a “willowy branch” for babies or PVC pipe for older children. Using passages from the Bible as justification, the Evangelical authors also suggest spraying toddlers who are slow to potty train with cold water from a garden hose and force-feeding picky eaters. Training up has a frightening number of followers, many of whom take their tactics too far and are eventually brought up on child abuse charges.

Studies have shown that a small percentage of women have a spontaneous orgasm as the baby exits the birth canal, making labor less, well, laborious. Hoping to increase their odds of a more pleasurable delivery, some women are now asking their partners to help them climax on the hospital bed. Debra Pascali-Bonaro, a childbirth educator and a doula, popularized the trend in 2008 when she released a documentary film titled Orgasmic Childbirth that explored the ins and outs of getting off while your baby is getting out. While most women agree that an orgasm is always welcome, most also agree that putting on your “O” face while your ob-gyn is between your thighs is more than slightly mortifying.

In the past few years, pediatricians have reported that more and more parents are putting their infants on diets. While underfeeding and watering down formula are popular tactics among that crowd, a set of parents in Washington State took it a step further by putting laxatives in their baby’s bottle, a move that contributed to them losing custody of their infant. Moreover, many of these moms and dads are actually bragging about their underweight, bony newborns. The pound-obsessed parents, most of whom were overweight themselves as kids and teens, say they’re just trying to avoid childhood obesity. While their intentions may not be malevolent, their actions are deplorable. This trend makes us long for the good old days when chubby baby thighs elicited only “oohs” and “ahs.”

This diaper-free method of child-raising involves a few steps: First, mom must learn the cues, like grimacing or squirming, that indicate her newborn needs to go to the bathroom; then she creates noises that correspond to those cues; lastly she makes those sounds—the “elimination communication”—while holding her child over a toilet, sink or if outside, sewer, in the hope that the baby goes potty on demand. Practitioners say the messy method is environmentally friendly, prevents diaper rash and lets mom and baby connect more intimately. Pediatricians say children under a year of age cannot consciously control their bowel movements. The general public says letting your baby defecate between two parked cars, as one elimination communicator in Brooklyn has been known to do, is simply disgusting.

According to the new age concept of indigo children, a psychically receptive and spiritually evolved breed of youngsters has emerged to rid the world of social ills. The traits that make kids indigos—smart, empathetic, impatient, disruptive, demanding and disdainful toward authority—are very similar to those that qualify a child as having ADHD. Believers don’t attribute their child’s inability to thrive in social settings like schools and playgrounds to a psychiatric disorder or general unruliness, but rather a world that’s just not ready for their pint-size sages. Doctors warn that attributing inattention or misconduct to aura may delay helpful treatment … and lead to kids who feel entitled to misbehave because they’re told doing so is exactly what makes them special.

Studios in England, Scotland and Canada now offer pole dancing classes for kids as young as 6. Little girls can increase their balance, flexibility and strength, while also learning a trade to put themselves through college. Studio owners say that kids see the pole merely as a piece of equipment, but most parents agree that the underlying eroticism and surrounding strip club culture make the activity psychologically dangerous, especially in an age when young girls are already hypersexualized. If pole dancing becomes an Olympic sport—there’s a group pushing for its inclusion—perhaps the sexual subtext will slowly dissipate and girls will be able to swing without any emotional implications. Until then, experts say to stick with traditional gymnastics.

Looking to gain a competitive edge, parents are starting their children in sports earlier than ever, in many cases before their tots can even walk. DVDs and gym classes aimed at babies 4 to 6 months old are selling at record rates. In addition to skills like jumping, kicking and swinging, future superstars are taught the rules that guide various games. While the entrepreneurs behind these companies say exposing babies to athletics is a great way to prevent childhood obesity, orthopedists caution that the trend could lead to overuse injuries at even younger ages. The American Academy of Pediatrics stresses that the most important type of play for overall infant and child development is that of the unstructured variety.

This growing trend uses public humiliation to discipline kids. As punishment for transgressions like poor grades, disrespect and stealing, moms and dads are forcing their children to hold signs announcing their wrongdoings on street corners with heavy traffic. Many of these parents also post pictures of the punishment on Facebook, causing their offspring’s infamy to go viral. While this sentence will definitely humiliate a child and may temporarily fix the problem, psychologists caution that the technique ultimately does more harm than good, leading to resentment, trust issues and often further insolence. Moreover, experts say sign shaming models the bullying behavior we’re so desperately trying to stop in schools.

While most moms cease breast-feeding around 12 months, there’s a new trend of prolonging the act well past the toddler years, to 6, and in one reported case, 8 years of age. The British documentary Extraordinary Breastfeeding, a clip of which is included here, follows a handful of moms who advocate breast-feeding until the child expresses a desire to stop, regardless of what age that occurs. Though there’s no physical harm to breast-feeding into adolescence—in fact, a few studies have shown there may be some benefits—psychologists warn that doing so may seriously delay a child’s emotional development. Some experts say the fad is merely a way for selfish moms to receive attention and feel needed as their children grow and, in turn, rely on them less.

Extended breast-feeding is just one facet of attachment parenting, an “always on” method that also promotes family bed sharing and baby wearing to deepen bonds. Developed by pediatrician William Sears in the mid-'90s, the theory holds that near-constant attention and immediate response leads to confident and secure kids. Moms are advised to keep skin-to-skin contact for as close to 24 hours as possible, wearing babies to work, or even better, taking out loans that allow them to stay home so that they can devote 100 percent of their focus for 100 percent of the time to their child. While Sears claims that attachment parenting is advantageous for babies, many other experts say the unrealistic obligations it promotes are too demanding on mom and dad, leading to increased stress, anxiety and all-around unhappiness.