My oldest child was a typical first born — and still is. As a toddler, she was the epitome of compliant. We never used baby gates with her. We’d simply tell her to stay in her bed until we came in to get her in the morning. We’d stroll into her room, open the blinds to the let the sun in, and there she would be, perched in her bed and reading her board books. Parenting is so easy, we mistakenly thought. (I can hear you laugh. I promise you, we came around to reality.)
Now we have four children, and we got a real wake-up call (pun-intended) when one of our children never slept. When I say never, I mean never. No amount of changing up the nap schedule — or taking naps away completely — helped. As the years went on, we tried every trick the internet and other parents, even several doctors, offered us.
We bought a weighted blanket and lavender body lotion, and started a stay-in-bed sticker chart
We bought darker shades and light-blocking curtains for their bedroom. We had no screentime before bed, turned on jazz music, and dimmed the lights. We would then escort our kids to their rooms and read calming bedtime stories. Our child did have fairly large tonsils and adenoids, which we opted to have removed. Unfortunately, their sleep issue didn’t resolve. We also tried all sorts of dietary changes, as well as melatonin, to no avail.
Within a few minutes of all the kids being in bed, one of our kids would be up and about, saying they couldn’t sleep. One doctor suggested it was simply behavioral and we needed to be more firm. We could try a positive reward system, and we did. You can probably guess that it didn’t work for more than a night or two. We also tried adding in some intense physical exercise right before bed, thinking maybe our child just needed to get out a burst of energy before heading to dreamland, but that ended up only causing more hyperactivity and alertness, not a blissful night’s rest.
We were exhausted — and nothing was working
We finally took our child to a sleep specialist who suggested we do a sleep study. If you’ve ever done that with your child, you know it involves an overnight stay in a very uncomfortable hospital-type room. Your kid is hooked up to all sorts of wires.
The sleep study, which was extremely expensive, rendered nothing. Our child didn’t have a sleep disorder. We were back to the drawing board. What was going on? All I knew is there wasn’t enough coffee in the world to deal with our lack of shut-eye, and we were beyond frustrated.
How was it that no one knew what was going on with our child?
Was it our parenting?
One day, I was chatting with a fellow mom who has seven — yes, seven — kids. She’s also a registered nurse. We were catching up when I told her how my child wasn’t sleeping and then shared everything we’d tried. She said that she had an idea, and of course, I was all ears. She suggested that we have our daughter’s ferritin level checked.
After we got off the phone, I went down the research rabbit hole. What I discovered was both intimidating and exciting. If it was true, if my child’s ferritin level was low, we might hold the answer to why they couldn’t sleep.
I proposed the test to the sleep specialist who agreed. We took our child for the simple blood test and awaited the results.
In the meantime, I recalled something important I’d brushed off
Our child had reported to us that they felt they had “bugs crawling” in their body, particularly at bedtime. Yes, this sounds creepy, but looking back, I realized this should have been a clue.
My child’s ferritin level came back shockingly below normal. The doctor promptly shared with us that our child has restless leg syndrome. I was shocked, asking the doctor, “Isn’t that an old person’s disease?” Turns out, children can have RLS, and the doctor told us that often the restlessness is neck down and not just contained to the legs.
My kiddo has been taking a ferrous sulfate supplement for years now
The big question you probably have is about their sleep. Has the issue been resolved? When my child’s ferritin level is stable, they sleep. Finally!
I want other parents to know that the ferritin test is simple, and if it does indicate an issue, the solution is also simple. We could have saved a lot of time, money, and frustration by doing the test much sooner. No amount of lavender lotion, melatonin, or any other “help” would have resolved my child’s RLS. I’m so grateful for the conversation I had with my nurse mom friend, because she gave my family a tremendous gift: sleep. As all parents know, almost nothing is as important as a good night’s sleep.
*Disclaimer: The advice on Mom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
