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May is Mental Health Month, which is especially relevant now, after weeks of lockdowns and social distancing. It has been a period of isolation, anxiety, fear, and loss. So, it’s no wonder if you’re concerned about your mental health – and that of your children.
According to the CDC, children and teens are among the groups who are susceptible to strong reactions from the stress of a crisis like the current COVID-19 pandemic.
Mom.com spoke about teens’ coronavirus mental health with Dr. Frank Chen, chief medical officer at Houston Behavioral Healthcare Hospital and Houston Adult Psychiatry.
“The ones that are in middle school and high school, they miss their friends, they’re having to adapt to a new modality of learning," Dr. Chen said. "They don’t have that social interaction that a lot of these teenagers — that a lot of people crave. And so the concern about sadness and adjustment versus depression comes in sort of degrees.”
Missing 'what could have been'
Kimberlee Leonard’s son is one of hundreds of thousands of high school students whose senior activities have been cut short by the coronavirus.
“We sat down and reviewed all the necessary work for him to graduate in May,” she told Mom.com. “When it came to busy work, we agreed he didn’t need to do it as long as it didn’t impact graduation.
"Instead, I’ve increased the amount of chores for him to do. Figured this was as good a time as any to get some extra help, save on handyman costs, and give him something physical to do.”
When disappointment turns to depression
Dr. Chen is also a parent of teens, and realizes it’s not always easy to tell how well your teen is doing.
“A lot of times teenagers in middle school and high school — they don’t tend to tell you, ‘I’m depressed,’” he told Mom.com. "Those words don’t come out of their mouths. And so we look more for irritability. They demonstrate much more irritability than sadness. And there’s also concerns when you see a drastic shift in your child’s behavior. And you’re wondering, where is this coming from? Any kind of destabilization of their normal behavior.”
Mental health professionals don’t make their diagnoses lightly.
“The typical diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder is that it has to be persistent for at least a two week period of time,” Dr. Chen explained. “And accompanied by multiple symptoms. I think that initially, we’re just seeing something called adjustment disorder. People are confused, everybody’s norm has been disrupted as a result of this.”
Mental health tips for parents and teens
1. Pay attention to your teen's sleep schedule
Is your child sleeping too much? Too little? Dr. Chen says that sleep disturbances are the most common symptom he treats. However, teens in general are not the best in terms of sleeping regular hours (especially if they’ve settled into different sleeping patterns while away at college).
“What you’re kind of looking for is maybe the purpose for their erratic sleep,” he said. “Are they sleeping too much so that they disconnect or check out from the world? Or if they’re not sleeping enough and having difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. That’s a pattern that a lot of times you would associate with depression and anxiety.”
2. Take note of their eating habits
“Sometimes people who are hibernating in their house, whether it’s because they’re quarantined or they’re apathetic and depressed, they sometimes eat emotionally. They use food as a comfort. You want to make sure that your kid is not emotionally eating,” Dr. Chen said.
Chen advised also looking out for signs of disordered eating. “Sometimes when you have eating disorders, food is a way of maintaining control," he said. "And so if your child is starting to have a reduction in appetite, and I get that a lot of teenage females don’t want to gain weight and may have subtle issues with food — my daughter included.
"But if they start bingeing and purging is a sign, if they start restricting their appetite, their food intake, you kind of have to wonder whether or not they’re feeling not in control. And they’re using food as a way of maintaining control.”
3. Watch out for suicidal thoughts
If you are worried that your teen may be thinking the unthinkable, Dr. Chen suggests that you come out and ask.
“I think that a very blunt question, like ‘have you been thinking about suicide?’ is something that’s warranted," he said. "A lot of people have a sense of uncomfortableness associated with that question. Because they feel like they don’t want to introduce a thought into a person’s head who is struggling with depression.
"However, I think that’s the only way in which you can draw some dangerous thoughts out of someone who is struggling. We’re not psychics. And the discussion of suicide does not mean that a person is going to act on it. It means that you have more of a tool to be helpful and avert a possible crisis.”
4. Get necessary treatment
Your insurance portal is a good place to begin a search for mental health assistance. Your child’s school or college counseling office may also offer resources you can utilize for help, as well as your county’s mental health department.
5. Model good mental health habits yourself
“Parents really need to make sure that they take care of themselves. That they recognize if they are stressed out and if they are dealing with mental health issues themselves," Dr. Chen noted.
"Because as you know, once we get back to flying, we see this little video about safety procedures and when the oxygen masks drop down, you’re supposed to put it on yourself rather than the child next to you because you don’t want to be a casualty. And you wouldn’t be effective if you’re suffocating. I would encourage parents to acknowledge depression in themselves or acknowledge anxiety and get appropriate treatment.”
