10 Terrible Toddler Phases

"The term terrible twos is often used to describe a phase in toddler development when children become more independent and assertive, leading to challenging behavior," Zeeshan Afzal, MD, explained to Mom.com. No one has to tell you that there will be a toddler phase that gets to you. Toddlers are exploring the world, still very attached, and need a lot of help. You may find that your toddler hits one or more of these phases, some at the same time.

More from Mom.com: Little Tyrants: All the Terrible Phases From Birth to Age 7

Toddler issues: Potty-training

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Thereโ€™s no sugar-coating a turd, as my Southern husband likes to say. Which seems an appropriate way to say thereโ€™s nothing even remotely good or happy about potty-training a toddler. We started off bribing my older daughter with treats and rewards and ended up taking things away when the former didnโ€™t work out. The latter worked, but not before we all cried in a pretty ugly way each time nature called in what seemed like a parenting fail.

'Uppy, uppy, uppy!'

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You would think that a person who spends the entire first part of her life being carried and then crawling would welcome the opportunity to walk everywhere at the first moment she were able. Then there was my older daughter, who, once she started walking, wanted to be in my arms at all times โ€” but especially when it meant she didnโ€™t have to walk herself. While my upper body strength improved in that time, my patience all but disappeared.

'NO!'

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When she was about 15 or 16 months old, my older daughter discovered the word no. Except instead of saying no, she said โ€œMamaโ€ instead. Which means whenever she wanted to express displeasure, she did so by exclaiming my name in anger, disgust, or frustration. Although she was too young to know how she was causing irreparable damage to my soul, my therapist knows all about it.

Toddler behavioral issues: Crib-jumping

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When my older daughter was 20 months old, we heard a loud thud late one night, followed by a frighteningly long pause, which eventually turned into a shriek and cry that still haunts me. Yes, she jumped out of her crib. I debated getting one of those crib tents but decided not to delay the inevitable, and promptly moved her to a bed. Which meant the very last form of keeping her contained was gone. I still miss it.

More from Mom.com: What to Do When Your Toddler Keeps Climbing Out of the Crib

Opinions

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So many parents spend so much time wondering what their newborn offspring are thinking. And then they start talking, which is heartwarming. But eventually they start offering opinions, which is painful. After all, if I wanted my toddlerโ€™s input as to whether she wants a bath or needs a nap, we wouldnโ€™t get very far โ€” or anywhere, really.

No filter

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The only thing worse than an opinionated toddler is an opinionated toddler in public. Itโ€™s not even so much the opinion part thatโ€™s bad so much as the honesty. I know the woman in front of us in line at the supermarket probably shouldn't be buying two cartons of cigarettes, but I really donโ€™t think anyone wanted to hear my toddler offer remarks and opinions loudly on the topic.

Toddler defiance: 'I'll only eat yellow food'

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"The duration of a toddler phase can vary depending on the child," mom of three Victoria Tayler told Mom.com. When it comes to food, to be more accurate, itโ€™s really the โ€œIโ€™ll only eat neon orange food that comes in a box that says Kraft Macaroni and Cheeseโ€ phase. My older daughter had a healthy diet full of variety when she was a baby, eliminating it all as a toddler. Not much has actually changed now that sheโ€™s no longer a toddler, although she will now occasionally consent to white macaroni and cheese, too. So thereโ€™s that.

Age 3

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Youโ€™d think someone would have told me when my older daughter entered the Terrible Twos that it would be a picnic compared to when she turned 3. But it wasnโ€™t until she was actually 3 that people turned and laughed (and laughed) as they said, โ€œOh, didnโ€™t you know: 3 is the new 2.โ€ No, no I didnโ€™t know. But I do now.

Difficulty flying

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Iโ€™m all for flying with my children. Correction: Iโ€™m all for getting places with my kids. Itโ€™s the getting to places that Iโ€™d like to skip. Theyโ€™re good at their core, but that doesnโ€™t make it necessarily pleasant to be trapped at 30,000 feet in excess of three hours with them. Especially when they can articulate how theyโ€™d rather not be trapped at 30,000 feet in excess of three hours. Loudly. And often.

Toys on the car floor

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I could almost live with all of the other toddler phases if I could skip the phase where they purposefully throw stuff on the floor while youโ€™re driving and then cry and mewl until you risk life and limb to retrieve it before youโ€™re able to pull over safely or stop at a light. Something about the combination of urgency mixed with pathetic desperation โ€” and just the slight hint that someone might poop their pants after all that hard potty-training work was meant to be over โ€” makes me never, ever want to go back to that dark place ever, ever again.