10 Things Your Child Needs to Hear

"I love you. You’re beautiful. You can be anything you want to be." Heard those before, right? They’re important, sure—but we’re pretty positive you don’t need a reminder to tell them to your child. However, there are other sets of words you might not think of that will boost your little ones' confidence, and reinforce skills that will help your kids navigate life. Take a peek at 10 things your child needs to hear.

"Oops! The cereal spilled. Go get two rags, and I'll help you clean up." Teach your child it's OK to make a mistake, even a messy one. “Show that mom isn't going to get furious,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Sue Mandel, owner of First Attachments Child & Parenting Center. “Things can be fixed. It's not the end of the world, and there’s an acceptance of one's imperfection.”

“Not everyone will like you.” Girls especially need to understand how special they are, but that some people won’t appreciate it—and that’s just fine. They don’t have to change or try harder to accommodate everyone. “If we can get our girls to understand this, it'll save them a lot of heartbreak and people-pleasing in their life,” says self-confidence expert Jess Weiner, author of A Very Hungry Girl. “Doesn't matter how nice, pretty or perfect we try to be, sometimes we just won't be liked by everyone. And it's not personal. You won't like everyone and they won't like you. That's normal and that's healthy.”

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“Let’s get up and move around. We’ll feel better if we stretch our arms and legs.” It’s up to you, mom, to show your kids the importance of movement and exercise every single day. “If we can teach our kids early on to move their bodies in joyful ways—playing soccer, stretching or climbing a tree—they will learn to connect to their bodies in a nonjudgmental, non-pressured way,” Weiner says, which is especially important for young girls in a world that’s tough on their appearance. “Rather than seeing their bodies as things to control or punish through movement later in life—as in, ‘Everyone hates to exercise’—let's reframe why we move our body, and create it as a loving extension of self-care and not a punishment.”

“Here’s the toy I took when you were rough yesterday. You can try again today. Remember the rules.” Second chances are great, and your little girl or boy needs them. Even if your child ignores the rules or your warnings one day, give him the opportunity to prove he can do better the next morning. You’re showing him you believe he can do better. “This creates trust,” Mandel says.

“You know what? You were right and I was wrong. Let’s fix my mistake." Sometimes, you drop the ball. That’s OK, mom. Each mistake will give you the chance to show your child what it means to take responsibility for actions, and how to remedy the situation. “This boosts self-esteem,” says Mandel. “Parents model being able to make a mistake and own up to it, which shows a lot of self-acceptance.”

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“Thanks for saying you’re sorry. Can you explain why you’re sorry, too?” Sometimes, with little kids, "I’m sorry" becomes a default response. They need to think about why what they did warrants an apology. “Talk is cheap and apologies are cheaper,” Weiner says. “Saying you're sorry for hurting someone's feelings is important, but what really helps healing is to acknowledge why you are sorry. Say how your actions have impacted someone. Say why you realize your behavior wasn't your best. Taking that extra step really helps someone know you mean it.”

“Let’s skip errands and just have fun today." Forget the grocery store—you can shop later. If you pick your son up from preschool and have some time, turn the car around, go home or to a fun place and just spend time with your child. “You can bake, go to the beach or go to the park,” Mandel says. “The message is that you enjoy being with your child, and you hold her in mind even when she's not with you. You’re willing to slow down the everyday errands and chores of life to spend time with him or her.”

"Do you want to watch your sister for a couple of minutes while I wash dishes?” If you give an older sibling responsibility when you’re nearby to supervise, it will go a long way to build confidence. “As long as the older sibling has never been rough with the baby, say, ‘I need someone careful like you to watch her and make sure she's OK,’" Mandel says. “Place the baby on a blanket on the floor or in a bouncy chair, and let the sibling entertain her with a toy or pat her back. It will help the sibling accept and feel nurturing towards the new baby, and boost self-esteem. She’ll feel competent and trusted by mom.”

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"No matter what you did, nothing could ever make me stop loving you." Your kids know you love them, but need to understand that your love is not conditional. It will never go away or depend on the circumstances. So if your child breaks a lamp, and is clearly scared to tell you, tell him this to open him up. “It creates feelings of safety and security,” Mandel says. “Your child is more important than his deed, and parents can use it as a teachable moment to help their child learn how to avoid for next time. So in that way, it also helps with problem-solving.”

“Wow, you’re great at puzzles! You put Cinderella’s dress together so fast.” Your little compliments about their puzzle skills can mean as much as your praise on a yearlong honor roll stint. Constantly reinforce how smart they are and how many talents they have, which will in turn keep their self-worth high. “Do a project together, and just point out the little things you notice along the way,” Mandel suggests.

Nothing. They say actions speak louder than words. Sometimes, the absence of words speaks volumes, too. So, if she’s fumbling to explain a problem she’s having with her brother, look her in the eyes and let her try to talk it out. “Listening to her shows your interest and respect,” says Mandel. “It shows that you value her and understand that she obviously is having a hard time.”