Many moons ago, I was a bilingual/bicultural child once. And if I'm being honest, she's still with me and rears her anxious little head every once in a while. This experience is what inspired me to write my new children's book MariVi Master Navigator: School Crossing. When we think of bicultural children, many people assume that the main difference is in language only. Yes, speaking a different language is a key characteristic, but the major distinction is cultural, and less obvious, in most instances. And as children mature, these matters become more of an issue.
Bicultural kids often feel like they don't quite fit in or belong to either culture that they are a part of. So, if you're helping raise a bicultural child that may not be able to express their experiences and their feelings, take note and be aware of behavioral changes — especially once they start school — where the culture clash becomes front and center.
Outsider Anxiety
Many bicultural children feel excluded from their classmates once school starts — particularly in areas where population diversity isn’t found. Be sensitive to outbursts of anger, feeling sick before leaving for school and complaining about tummy aches.
Cultural Awareness
As a collective parent or guardian, the culture you are embracing at home is completely different than the one your child is being raised with at school. You may value interdependence, and they are being taught to be independent. These behaviors are expressed every day in different ways.
Language Sensitivity
Being sensitive to language is a must. Many bilingual kids are embarrassed when their parent speaks to them in their parent’s native tongue.
Disengaging From Previous Activities
If you see your child disengaging from things they used to love, such as streaming videos, music, or social network activity, be alert.
Peer Group Dissonance
Adolescents who feel like outsiders at home and at school will deal with insecurity and anxiety and are more likely to join peer groups that may be comprised of individuals that are inconsistent with those of the past.
Changes in Eating Habits
Emotional eating or withdrawal from food can be caused by depression or low interest or self-esteem.
Changes in Sleeping Habits
If you begin seeing changes in sleeping patterns, this too may be a cause for concern. If extended over time, seek professional help as it may be driven by anxiety.
Wanting More Alone Time
When children want to spend more alone time, especially in primary and middle school years, talk to them. They may be experiencing a deep sense of not belonging anywhere.
Regression
We all tend to regress to behaviors from our younger years when we are overwhelmed or feel insecure. I drank from a baby bottle the day before I started first grade.
Aggression
Sometimes we express our sadness with angry outbursts/aggression instead of crying. Be aware.
And for what it’s worth, remind your child that someday, in the not too distant future, their biculturalism will be their superpower.
