Kate Middleton’s Most Relatable Comments About Mom Life

The Duchess of Cambridge spoke about the moment she became a mom for the first time when she gave birth to Prince George in 2013 — and it’s something many can identify with. “It’s very emotional. It’s such a special time,” she said. “I think any parent will know what this feeling feels like.” That we do, Kate.

Part of the emotional experience Kate had as a new mom was the massive, life-shifting aspect of it. “Nothing can really prepare you for you the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother,” she said during a visit to the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. She added:

“It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight. You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost.”

A lot of parenthood is faking it until you make it, and even the Duchess of Cambridge does that. “There is no rule book, no right or wrong — you just have to make it up and do the very best you can to care for your family,” she said in that same speech to the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

“It is lonely at times. You do feel quite isolated,” Kate admitted about first-time motherhood. Her situation was made harder by Prince William often being away for work. “It was the first year, and I’d just had George — William was still working with Search and Rescue … and I had a tiny, tiny baby in the middle of Anglesey. It was so isolated, so cut-off. I didn’t have any family around, and he was doing night shifts.”

That would be rough on anyone.

The duchess said that she felt a lot of support when George was a newborn, but that faded as he got older. “It’s so hard. You get a lot of support with the baby as a mother particularly in the early days, but after the age of 1, it falls away,” she said when visiting her patronage Family Action Charity.

Being a royal means that Kate has access to things like a nanny, which not all mothers do. She’s acknowledged that privilege, while also reminding everyone that motherhood is still hard no matter what kind of help you have. “Becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience,” she said a few years ago. “However, at times it has also been a huge challenge. Even for me, who has support at home that most mothers do not.”

We all want our children to grow up to be good, decent people. The Duchess of Cambridge is no different. “My parents taught me about the importance of qualities like kindness, respect, and honesty. I realize how central values like these have been to me throughout my life,” she said, according to People. “That is why William and I want to teach our little children just how important these things are as they grow up.”

In a revealing interview on the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast, the duchess revealed that she often struggles with feelings of guilt as a mother. “Yes, absolutely, and anyone who doesn’t as a mother is actually lying. Yes, all the time,” Kate said.

If you’ve ever had those same feelings of insecurity, just know that you’re not alone. All the money in the world can’t erase mom guilt.

Kate added that being a working mother is part of what leads to that guilt. “There’s such a pull, but I am such a hands-on mom, and whatever you’re doing you want to make sure you’re doing the best job you can for your children,” she said. “Even this morning, coming to the nursery visit here, George and Charlotte were like, ‘Mommy how could you possibly not be dropping us off at school this morning?'”

Because she is a working mother, when she’s available, Kate does her best to get her kids to disconnect and play freely outside. “As children, we spent a lot of time outside, and it’s something I’m really passionate about. I think it’s so great for physical and mental well-being and laying foundations,” she’s said. “It’s such a great environment to spend time in, building those quality relationships without the distractions of ‘I’ve got to cook’ and ‘I’ve got to do this.'”

We know that being a mom isn’t easy, but it bears repeating — and Kate has the perfect quote on the topic. “It’s right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains,” she’s said. “It’s OK not to find it easy. Some of this fear is about the pressure to be a perfect parent, pretending we’re all coping perfectly and loving every minute of it.”

When you do feel overwhelmed as a mom, Kate would encourage you to seek help. “[It] should not be seen as a sign of weakness,” she said, according to Us Weekly. “Mothers take on an overwhelming responsibility of caring for their families. Their role is vital in providing unconditional love, care, and support at home, particularly in the early years of a child’s development. We therefore should do everything we can to support and value their hard work.”

As a parent, Kate wants to make sure her children’s mental health is a priority as well. “William and I would not hesitate to seek help for our children if they needed it,” she wrote for Huffington Post UK. “We hope to encourage George and Charlotte to speak about their feelings, and to give them the tools and sensitivity to be supportive peers to their friends as they get older.”

Kate follows in Princess Diana’s footsteps of being a much more hands-on mother than royals traditionally have in the past. Not only does she do a lot of the daily activities herself — like school drop-off — but she’s all about showing her children affection. “Hugs are very important. That’s what I tell my children,” she said on a trip to a sporting center.

At the end of the day, regardless of the stressors of being a parent, it’s always the small things that make it all worth it. As she said on the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast:

“That’s what I would want them to remember, those moments with me as a mother, but also the family going to the beach, getting soaking wet, filling our boots full of water, those are what I would want them to remember. Not a stressful household where you’re trying to do everything and not really succeeding at one thing.”

So important to keep in mind.