How to Help Parents of a Baby in the NICU

The neonatal intensive care unit, or NICU, is where babies go who are born early, have a low birth weight, have health problems or a difficult birth and need around-the-clock care from experts.

Most babies are admitted to the NICU within the first 24 hours of their life and can stay for up to a few hours to a few months, depending on their health. A 2011 study found that babies stayed in the NICU for an average of 13.2 days. In the NICU, there is special equipment, like infant warmers, incubators, phototherapy for jaundice, feeding tubes, and different types of monitors. Parents are allowed to visit their babies while in the NICU.

What is it like for parents with babies in the NICU?

For many parents, who still have jobs and bills to worry about, having a baby in the NICU can take a toll on their mental health. Parents with babies who were admitted into the NICU have higher rates of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

“The best advice I can give new parents is to breathe. No two cases are alike. Everyday is an emotional roller-coaster,” Sarah M., a mom whose baby had a six-week stay in the NICU, previously told Mom.com.

A baby in the NICU means being separated from your baby during a time when skin-to-skin contact and bonding is crucial. It’s difficult to watch your baby being fed by tubes, not knowing if something could take a turn for the worse while you’re discharged to go home.

Many parents want to spend countless hours, and even days and nights, in the hospital to be around their baby at this time — if they can.

“Our whole societal and family structure in the United States poses challenges to letting families really engage with their babies, who may be hospitalized for a long time,” Susan Niermeyer, a neonatologist at Children’s Hospital of Colorado and a professor at the University of Colorado, told the Washington Post. “It’s difficult for people to spend six or eight hours a day with their child.”

With all that being said, there is space for you to step in and help out parents who could use the extra bandwidth.

1. Celebrate the baby. Even though this isn’t the joyous moment most parents envisioned, bringing a new life into this world is still something worth celebrating. A small gift like a NICU crib card or a book to read to the baby will be appreciated.

2. Offer rides to the hospital and back so that parents don’t have to get behind the wheel while lacking sleep or being too stressed out. If you can’t manage this, give NICU parents a rideshare gift card.

3. Reach out but don’t expect a reply. That’s always going to be appreciated.

4. Help around the house, like doing laundry or taking care of their pet. This takes a burden off the parents so they can focus on their baby.

5. Offer a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Be attentive and listen to the parents, giving them much-needed emotional support.

6. Volunteering means offering support with your time and energy. If you feel up to it, volunteer at your local hospital or become a NICU support parent. You’ll work with NICU staff and be trained on how to help parents during this stressful time.

If you want to assemble a free care package for NICU parents, we broke down the essentials below.

1. Food
From home-cooked meals you made yourself to meal delivery kits, this kind gesture will be a comforting break from sterile cafeteria food. Don’t forget the utensils!

2. Coins
Will always come in handy for the vending machines in hospitals.

3. A journal
This can provide a safe space for parents to write out their feelings or take notes when nurses or doctors talk to them.

4. A phone charger
Essential, so parents can stay in touch.

5. Books or magazines
Reading materials can help parents keep their minds busy while waiting in the hospital.

6. A pillow and eye mask
Small luxuries can help make staying in the hospital a little more comfortable.

7. A blanket or sweater
This will keep parents warm when they’re staying in a chilly room.

8. Ear plugs
Surprisingly useful in blocking out the jarring alarms in the NICU.

9. Snacks
Easy-to-grab foods like protein bars or trail mix and bottled water can help parents stay sustained.

10. Lotion
Can be helpful because there’s a lot of handwashing going on in the NICU — especially during COVID.