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The 4th trimester is one way to think about the first three months after birth — the first three months of newborn development, of postpartum healing for mom, and parenthood in general.
Which is to say, it’s a lot.
Here’s what the 4th trimester will bring, more or less week by week, for baby, new moms and dads.
The 4th trimester for babies
According to Dr. Harvey Karp — of the Happiest Baby on the Block fame — babies are born too soon. So those first three months are all about recreating aspects of being in the womb, to comfort and calm them as the newborns build the skills they need. “It turns out that in the womb, babies have cues,” he told The New York Times Magazine. “So what calms babies down? Bouncing them, rocking them, shushing them, enveloping them, letting them suck. These are all imitative of their experience in the womb.”
Newborn milestones week by week
It can feel like newborns do little more than eat, sleep, poop and cry — but their development is actually at warp speed.
In the 4th trimester, weeks 1 through 4, your baby will probably be able to:
- Suck well — whether it’s breast or bottle
- Lift their heads ever so slightly
- Focus on another face — notably, yours
- Bring their hands to their face
In weeks 5 through 8, your baby will probably be able to:
- Smile, socially (i.e. it’s not gas!)
- Recognize familiar faces
- Start to communicate withn social noises, like deliberate coos
In weeks 9 through 12, your baby will probably be able to:
- Suck their thumb — or another finger
- Hold their head up during tummy time
- Sit — with some support
- Stand — with a lot of support
- Follow toys and other objects with their eyes
You’ll hear this endlessly from pediatricians and other moms — every child is different. Just knowing a few developmental milestones, however, can give you a sense of when to relax and when to worry.
The 4th trimester for moms
Postpartum moms have some milestones to look forward to as well — if not just that first solo shower. Make sure your postpartum checklist is in order and look forward to the following.
The first real shower
It may not go the way you think, though. “I tried the shower again because I knew part of me would feel more human,” Veena Goel Crownholm wrote for Mom.com. “The first few minutes were great, and then I tried to wash my hair. The pain of the C-section was excruciating.”
Breastfeeding finally clicks
I promise, that feeling of broken glass in your nipples goes away and you will start to find your groove. It all depends, of course, but by the end of the first month most babies and moms have figured out how to make breastfeeding work (if that’s your choice, obvs.)
Your first real stretch of sleep
Babies usually figure out some of their rhythms by 4 to 6 weeks old, which means a longer stretch of sleep for them and new moms. The first time Cassie Shortsleeve’s daughter “slept through the night,” she and her husband woke up panicked when they heard the baby crying around 4:45 a.m. Shortsleeve, founder of Dear Sunday, an online platform that helps women adjust to new motherhood, assumed the baby had already been up once.
“It was one of those surreal moments in parenting that will always stand out to me,” she told Mom.com. “From there, the sleep deprivation got better.”
She added, “I always like to remind new moms that even though, in the thick of it, sleep deprivation is so, so hard it is — like all things in life and parenting— temporary.”
The all-clear from your doctor
The six-week checkup is major milestone, whether your birth was quick and easy (ha!) or more complicated. It’s a chance to connect with your healthcare provider not just about the state of your vagina but also your own mental health. And with an all-clear you can commence with lifting, your first 4th trimester workout, even … sex.
A return to work
With no federal mandate for maternity leave, this day could come at any time. But a fair amount of employers will give a new mom about six weeks with baby before needed her back at her desk — a.k.a. the fifth trimester.
The 4th trimester for dads
Typically, there’s less of a standard template for the 4th trimester for dads. There will be sleep deprivation, yes. There will be blowouts. Still, new dads can expect to hit a few major milestones, stay-at-home dads and otherwise.
First time putting baby to sleep on his own
The method may be unconventional, but the outcome is nonetheless satisfying — the first time dad gets baby to sleep, solo, is a huge accomplishment. One tip from the expert at Sleep Junkies: Practice soothing baby during the day, it will make it easier for you at night.
The return to work
Unless your company has a generous paternity leave policy, chances are that dad will be headed back to work sooner rather than later. It can be a welcome return to “real life” — talking with adults! — but like any transition, it can be hard to be away from the family unit at home.
The first date
This might come before week 12 — or it might not. It all depends on baby’s temperament, how the new mom feels and what your childcare options look like. By the end of the 4th trimester, life will start to feel more normal again — or, if not normal, then at least more predictable. And certain things from the before time, like some quality “we” time, might return.
Key word: might.
