I went into motherhood with a lot of expectations, but not enough education.
For instance, I always assumed I was going to breastfeed each of my babies for at least the first year of their lives. It was what my mom did, and I just thought I would too. The only other expectation I had was that breastfeeding may be painful at first before it gets easier, since that’s what my mom told me happened with her. Other than that, I assumed that because breastfeeding is natural, it must come easily.
Boy, was I wrong.
Both of my children had terrible latches for the first few months after birth. With my daughter, I had three different lactation consultants come inspect her mouth and check her latch. They all said she was latching as well as she could considering she had a tongue tie, lip tie, small mouth, and a high arched palate.
For the first month, I dealt with blanched, blistered, bruised, cracked, and bleeding nipples — and I was in excruciating pain.
I ended up finding some remedies that thankfully healed my nipples, but the pain lasted for the first two months. I think once she and her mouth got bigger, her latch got better. And thankfully after that, we had an amazing breastfeeding journey and things were easy! I continued to nurse her until she was 14 months old and she weaned herself.
My son ended up having a tongue tie, lip tie, and a high arched palate too, but luckily breastfeeding wasn’t as painful with him and things got easier after the first month. He’s currently seven months old, and I still nurse him, but we are introducing bottles here and there to prepare him to wean.
I think the experience I had nursing my son may have been easier because I had a lactation consultant who helped me, and I was more prepared for things the second time around. I wish I would have educated myself more before having my daughter, because I can’t help but wonder if things would have been different if I had been ready for the road blocks that we ran in to.
Here are five tips I wish someone would’ve told me when I was struggling with breastfeeding:
1. Focus on YOUR journey
Everyone will have their own unique experience with breastfeeding — for some, it will be positive from the start. But for others, the entire time may be a struggle. Don’t compare your experience with anyone else’s, and try not to have expectations based on what anyone else tells you.
2. If you can, take a breastfeeding class before your baby arrives
There are a lot of specific things that I think a mom should know before having her baby that can help her feel more prepared: such as proper latching techniques, different nursing positions, and tips for maintaining supply.
There are also so many issues you may have to deal with that would be nice to know beforehand, such as low/oversupply, engorgement, fast letdown, clogged ducts, mastitis, etc.
Overall, I think it can be very beneficial to learn about all the good and bad that can come along with breastfeeding before your baby is born, so you’re not so shocked and lost when they’re here.
3. Find yourself a breastfeeding support team in case you need it
If you can, hire a lactation consultant. This was a game-changer for me as I don’t think I could have continued to nurse my babies without the support and education a consultant brought me.
I have come to notice how much misinformation is spread by other (well-meaning) moms. It’s always nice to get advice, but I’ve heard women give advice on breastfeeding that I know isn’t true and could possibly cause supply issues down the line. Listen to other moms because they mean well, but take their advice with a grain of salt and seek professional help.
And another great idea is to find a support group.
In my area, there are multiple breastfeeding support groups that a new mom can join, where she can meet up with other mamas to talk about breastfeeding. Also at these meetups, they do weighted feeds to make sure the babies are getting enough milk! It can be a great experience for both mom and baby and really help new moms feel less alone.
4. Know breastfeeding can be incredibly hard
If your journey is anything like mine, it may be an uphill battle in the beginning. I think it is important to keep in mind that it may be a difficult experience, and if you want to keep trying to make it work, I strongly encourage you to do so.
But also…
5. Know when you need to stop
Sometimes breastfeeding is too tough and overwhelming.
There are plenty of reasons to not continue to breastfeed, whether it’s latching issues, milk supply, mental health, pain, and so much more. It’s so important to know when enough is enough and when we need to stop for either ourselves or our baby.
And know that if you had to stop when you didn’t want to, that it is OK. Things don’t always go according to plan, especially when it comes to motherhood. It is important that both you and your baby are happy and healthy.
