10 Myths About Life With a Newborn

People will share their advice and opinions, but some tips need to be dispelled as myths. First-time parents might be tempted to believe the idea that newborns sleep well, but they’re in for a rude awakening—at midnight, 3 a.m., and 5 a.m. The truth is that newborns sleep in cycles of about 2-3 hours and when they wake up they need changing, hugging, feeding, soothing, and then more sleep.

When you become a mom, friends and family will pass on their remedios caseros to you: Toasted flour for diaper rash, herbal teas for colic, and many more. During the sleeplessness of the first few months of life a baby, a friend recommended I put leaves of lettuce in her bath to help her sleep better. I followed the instructions, but it didn’t work. Some home remedies are just myths.

For some reason, Latina moms (including my own, and I) have a tendency to bundle our babies in layers of sweaters, jackets and blankets, even in moderate weather. The idea that babies have to be bundled is a misconception because babies are happiest when they are wearing only as many layers as necessary to maintain their natural body temperature. No infant likes sweating.

Some of the older generations in your family might believe this is good advice. I was told letting my daughter cry it out would strengthen her lungs and teach her to be more independent. There’s no evidence that allowing a newborn to cry helps in any way. Don’t ignore a newborn baby’s cries. They need to feel secure and loved.

After my daughter was born, my mother cautioned me to look out for mal de ojo (“evil eye”) and suggested I get my daughter an azabache pin just like the one I had when I was a baby. She said evil eye manifested itself as incessant crying. Persistent crying can be a sign of colic or some other ailment. I’d rather get an all-clear from our pediatrician than use an amulet.

Our mamás and abuelas have wisdom to impart, but some of the practices they recommend for newborn are outdated. You’ll hear a lot of opinions about your baby’s sleep habits. Here’s what doctors currently recommend: Swaddling helps babies sleep, your crib mattress should be firm, and babies should sleep on their backs.

Here’s another sleep-related misconception. People will tell you to sleep when your baby sleeps, and it sounds like a good idea — but it doesn’t always work. Because newborns have such short sleep cycles, you’ll never feel well rested. My husband and I tried this method at first, but switched to caring for our baby in shifts so that the other person could get a solid chunk of sleep.

Why would anyone use formula when breastfeeding is so easy? This is simply untrue for most moms. Breastfeeding is hard — and quite painful in the beginning. Even once you acclimate to nursing, there can be issues of under-supply, clogged ducts, or a variety of other issues. No one can judge a mom for using formula when these or other reasons prevent her from breastfeeding easily.

There is a notion that every woman has maternal instincts and that those instincts are all you need to be a good mom. After becoming a mami, I’m going to have to declare this one faux-wisdom. Motherhood is a learning process, so needing help or learning from others is normal. As your child grows, so will you.

If you’re practicing cuarentena (or a modified version of 40-day rest period) after your baby is born, you may feel tempted to stay indoors. The women in our familias do have a point: It’s not good to take a newborn to crowded places because their immune system is not well-developed yet. But the idea you can’t go outdoors at all goes too far. A little fresh air can do the whole family some good.