A baby shower is a pregnancy tradition we’ve all come to expect when a family member or friend shares their big news, but some soon-to-be moms don’t want a shower, and for any number of reasons. Perhaps they dislike being the center of attention, or they find the games and decor too cheesy. Or maybe they’ve lost a pregnancy prior to this one, and celebrating in advance feels tender or uncomfortable. Whatever their reason for declining a shower, respecting their wishes is of the utmost importance. And if that new mom is willing to celebrate in a different way, try offering her these alternative ideas — each one still an authentic and personal way to help her and her new baby feel loved and welcomed.
Plan a Friend Babymoon
We know that couples go on babymoons all the time as a way of celebrating a new baby, so why not plan a babymoon with buddies? If your pregnant friend is willing to hit the road — it may be best to do this mid-pregnancy, and not just before her due date — pick a destination that seems perfect for a chill weekend away, then plan an itinerary that includes delicious food, relaxation, and maybe a bit of sightseeing. This type of travel can be tricky with an infant, so show your friend a good time before she has to take a bit of a break from big adventures.
Go to Afternoon Tea or Brunch
Sometimes a girly afternoon tea or fancy brunch is the perfect way to celebrate someone. Ask your pregnant friend if she would like to dine, make a reservation at a great restaurant, and then send a digital invite to the invitees. If the new mom is OK with it, attendees can bring a baby gift with them. If not, just their presence makes for a celebration.
Organize a Baby Registry, Sans Party
For many friends and family members, a baby shower is simply an opportunity to support a new mother by giving her gifts that will help her (and baby) throughout that first year of parenthood, and beyond. But just because your friend doesn’t want a baby shower, it doesn’t mean she can’t have a registry. If she agrees to this idea, help your friend organize a great registry, then take on the task of sharing that registry with all the people in her life who would love to shower her with gifts, party or no party.
Organize a Month-Long Meal Train
Most parents agree that, once a new baby arrives, cooking for the family is on the metaphorical back burner. You’re too mentally exhausted to make decisions about breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and you’re too tired to stand at the stove. For this reason, there may be no better gift than a meal train — that’s when a different family sends or drops off dinner each night, for as many nights as the organizer can arrange. Having a meal delivered multiple evenings in a row will remind your friend how cared for she is, making a meal train an excellent baby shower replacement plan.
Organize a Book Drive
This one is great for the literary parent-to-be, who just can’t have enough books in their house. Read alouds are a childhood staple, and chances are a first-time parent doesn’t have great kid literature lying around just yet. So, in lieu of a shower, organize a book drive. Have your friend make a list of 50 picture books she’d love to have in her baby’s library, then share the list with her friends and family via email, or even just a shared Google Doc. They can have the books delivered by mail, or gift them to the mom the next time they see her in person. It will be even more special if each giver writes a little note inside each book.
Plan a Spa Day
A luxurious day at the spa with a friend or two is another great way to celebrate a mother-to-be. You can book her a prenatal massage, and maybe even tack on a mani-pedi, then spend time at the spa pool and chat over smoothies or healthy snacks from the spa menu. Again, this may be an experience your friend won’t have for a bit once baby is here, so treat her now and show her how much her friendship — and her new adventure — mean to those lucky enough to be close to her.
