When you envisioned giving birth, you probably didn’t imagine doing so in the middle of a global pandemic. But that’s the reality many birthing people are facing as the fight to reduce the spread of the novel coronavirus marches on without an end in sight.
Since hospitals are hotbeds for the disease, many parents-to-be have to comply with protocols that feel like their worst fears come true.
- You’re only allowed to bring in one support person, and that person is not allowed to leave the premises or they risk not being allowed back in.
- No visitors are allowed.
- You and your support person have to stay in your room and wear masks the entire time.
- If you have a baby who needs to go to the NICU, only one person can be with them.
Giving birth as a Black woman already comes with a unique set of stresses. So while these rules are in place for everyone’s safety, it’s hard not to feel like coronavirus is yet another battle Black moms have to fight. (Especially since the virus is striking our communities the hardest.)
But you can have an empowered, positive, and beautiful birth in a hospital during coronavirus. (And beyond!)
“There are many things that are going to be thrown at you,” says Dr. Kiesha Benn, an OB-GYN in New Hyde Park, New York. “It’s the way you react that will ultimately determine your experience.”
Here are 11 tips to help you react with confidence and knowledge, instead of fear and anxiety, and to help you have the birthing experience you deserve in this new reality.
1. Choose the type of delivery you're having and commit to it
There are some pregnant women who are thinking about having home births or delivering in birthing centers to avoid the stress of giving birth in a hospital.
Being on the fence about where you’re going to deliver will only add to your anxiety. Instead, do some research, decide where you’re going to deliver once and for all, and own it. There are a lot of decisions to make and conversations to have based on your choice, and there’s no need to complicate matters by wondering “What if…?” as you get closer and closer to your due date.
“Every woman has the right to deliver where they want to deliver as long as they know the risks and the benefits, and are able to make an educated decision,” says Dr. Ruth Arumala, an OB-GYN based in Mansfield, Texas. “However ACOG [the American College of Obstetricians-Gynecologists] proposes the safest place to deliver is either a hospital or an accredited birth center.”
Keep in mind that home birth is not a cure-all, and not everyone is a good candidate for it. And given the unpredictable nature of birth, there is no guarantee that you or your baby won’t need to go to the hospital anyway.
If you do decide not to deliver in a hospital, you have to do your due diligence, Dr. Kiesha stresses. Research your new healthcare providers, get your medical records, and be transparent about complications and your medical history.
And don’t change your birth plan without letting your original provider know what you’re doing.
“This is when mistakes happen,” Dr. Kiesha says of leaving your primary doctor in the dark. “We feel that people are going to judge us based on our decision and so we don’t say anything… and then when something deleterious happens it’s ‘Why didn’t I [tell them]?’”
Whatever you decide, make sure you’re making the decision from an informed space. (If you’ve chosen a home birth, check back for an upcoming article on having a home birth during coronavirus.
2. Find a provider you trust
Note: Since this guide is focused on giving birth in hospitals during the coronavirus pandemic, advice will be catered to that moving forward.
There is no better time than now to evaluate how you really truly feel about your doctor. Do you feel comfortable asking them questions? Do they listen to you? Do you have an easy rapport?
If your answers to those questions are “no, nope, nah,” change providers to find someone you do trust.
“The beginning of advocacy often is having conversations before you’re in labor with your provider…and changing facilities or providers as soon as you can if it doesn’t look like that place or those people are going to be supportive,” says Anayah Sangodele-Ayoka, a certified nurse midwife who works out of hospitals in the DMV-area.
Sometimes doctors give their patients evidence-based facts, but if their bedside manner leaves something to be desired, the women in their care are less inclined to hear them. This can contribute to the bad experiences many Black women report facing in the healthcare system. So it helps to have someone you trust in your corner.
“If you trust your provider,” Dr. Ruth says, “if there’s a poor outcome, you know it was not because of a lack of trying. And I hate to say this, but all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk. You gotta pick somebody that you actually trust…and that you can see this person going above and beyond for you.”
If you’re unable to change providers, consider working with a seasoned doula so you’ll have someone available to advocate for you, Dr. Ruth adds.
“Can they [FaceTime] you at a reduced rate now so if somebody tells you that you need a c-section, you can find out, ‘Well, do I need a c-section because my baby’s heart rate is dropping? Do I need a c-section because I’ve been laboring, my bag of water has been ruptured for X amount of time, and now we’re scared of infection? …Or am I being c-sectioned because my provider needs to go home and sleep or needs to take care of other patients?’ That [the] doula can help you sort,” she says.
3. Start asking questions
A lot of labor and delivery anxiety during coronavirus stems from the fear of the unknown. Try to get clarity on as much as you can and go over your questions with your doctor. (Afraid you’ll forget what you want to ask? “Write the questions down because pregnancy brain is real,” says Dr. Ruth.)
“A woman who has knowledge is empowered,” Dr. Kiesha says. “A woman who doesn’t doesn’t know if she’s not being treated fairly.”
“At your next prenatal visit, [ask] ‘What is being done differently because of coronavirus?’” Anayah advises. “There should be specific answers about that, like, ‘We’re going to test you for coronavirus when you come, and if you have it, this is what’s going to happen.’ Patients should be asking those questions so they can also know what to expect or [to] push back.”
Giving birth during coronavirus is a situation only made more difficult by going in blind. Familiarize yourself with your hospital’s protocols. (These are constantly changing and are different from hospital to hospital, say Drs. Kiesha and Ruth, so stay on top of them.)
Will they be testing you for coronavirus as soon as you come in? Will you be separated from your partner and baby after delivering? Will you be able to walk around the maternity floor? How long will you be in the hospital after delivery or surgery? (Many places are keeping vaginal delivery moms for 24 hours, and C-sections for 48 hours.) Will you have to go to a separate facility after birth? What happens if you or your support person test positive for coronavirus?
When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to emotionally prepare for it.
4. Build in some emotional support
Give yourself grace and try not to beat yourself up about the way your pregnancy will look, says Dr. Kiesha.
“Don’t compare. Don’t compare to your previous pregnancies,” she says. “Don’t compare to what’s happening to other people in other parts of the state, because different areas have different burdens of disease.”
No mom who has given birth before social distancing and coronavirus will understand exactly how you’re feeling right now. That’s why you want to build a community of support with other moms like you. Join mom groups on Facebook or apps like Peanut and see if there’s anyone you can relate to on the platform. (You may be able to find someone in a breastfeeding support group, too.)
If you already have a therapist, lean on them for support right now. And if you’ve been thinking about finding one, why wait? A therapist can help you navigate all the feelings you’re having about giving birth during coronavirus. Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today have directories to help you find a therapist suited to the task.
And check with your provider about on-site mental health support you can receive while you’re at the hospital.
For 7 more tips, read the rest of the story on Mater Mea
