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I can remember telling one of my friends that I did not have a birth plan for the delivery of my second son. I was just going to follow whatever my ob-gyn told me to do. She could not believe me. This friend had hired a doula to assist during her pregnancy because she didn’t know exactly which doctor would deliver her baby, and we had previously talked about the risks of maternal mortality for Black mothers. We both knew that a healthy pregnancy and healthy delivery were major blessings and were aware of what we could potentially experience, so my statement shocked her.
Although my choice seemed to be unbelievable, a lot of work was put into this decision. I had already taken steps to advocate for myself in my health care plan, and it was paying off. I knew without a doubt that my physician would do everything she could and make every decision in the best interest of my baby and me.
As it turned out, my delivery was not an easy one, so trusting her became one of the best decisions I could have made. So, how did I get to this point?
Below are the steps you can take to advocate for yourself during your pregnancy and for your health in general.
1. Speak up at any moment
First and foremost, mothers will have to be open to speaking up when they feel the need to have a conversation or bring up a concern. “People need to get comfortable using their voice. People enter medical spaces, and it can be, for some, intimidating because they [the doctors] are the experts,” said Kiarra King, MD, an ob-gyn in Illinois.
Although it can be scary and difficult to have hard or awkward conversations with your doctor, the subject matter is too important to avoid speaking up. “You get one body, one life, and you don’t get do-overs,” said Dr. King. “There is nothing wrong with speaking up for yourself.”
2. Ask all the questions
When visiting your physician before delivery, you should absolutely ask any and all questions you can think of. By asking questions, you can get clarification, follow-up information, and details on treatment plans or medications. The goal of your time with your physician should be to become comfortable with their style of practice and mode of communication.
“Black women should always ask ‘why’ to what the doctors are recommending as the solution to the problem. They should ask, ‘What are the benefits?’ ‘What are the risks?’ ‘What are the other options?’ ‘What happens if we do nothing?’ All of that information should help them make an informed decision about themselves, their bodies, and the babies in their wombs,” said doula Erica McAfee.
3. Build a relationship and rapport with your ob-gyn
Authentic relationships allow for you to be open and vulnerable with your doctor. Once you have a great relationship with your physician, you can feel more comfortable bringing up topics that you need more information about. A positive relationship with your doctor also gives them a chance to learn your preferences and your health history.
4. A second or third opinion is not a bad thing
Whether you are comfortable and have a positive relationship with your ob-gyn, getting a second or even third opinion can help to manage any misunderstandings, get further information, or confirm a diagnosis or treatment plan. However, news about your health can be difficult to hear from any source, and it is good to keep this in mind as you navigate various opinions.
“You can also get a second opinion, but keep in mind, if the diagnosis is hard to hear, it will be hard from anyone,” said Dr. King. “Sometimes that second opinion gives you reassurance if it’s the same thing. Then you can feel more comfortable.”
Additional help by a doula, midwife, or birthworker can give mom extra support in the delivery room if she is unable to or unsure of how to clearly articulate her concerns.
“Having a doula there as a support person will give them additional questions to ask to make an informed decision that is best for them based on their birth and postpartum plan,” McAfee said.
5. If there is no connection, feel free to find another doctor
If you find that your relationship and rapport with the doctor are not progressing, there are concerns, or you feel adversarial in your time with the doctor, it is perfectly normal to find another physician. Moving to another doctor is a part of advocating for yourself, too.
“[Mothers] should trust their intuition based on the information that’s given, but also ask what happens if they do nothing,” McAfee said. By making a decision and acting on that decision, you are undoubtedly doing what you feel is best for your baby and yourself.
I was lucky that my doctor and I are close. As a Black mother, there are few things scarier than going into the delivery room and not knowing what will happen. However, your biggest advocate is your own voice, and you have the right and the responsibility to use it before, during, and after pregnancy.
