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If you're pregnant, let us be the ones to drop a major truth bomb on you: The perfect pregnancy doesn't exist. Your life is about to change in a major way, and even now, it's already changed. And as much as you might want to prove that you can be pregnant and keep up with your life the way it was before baby, the sooner you let go of the idea of "doing it all," the better you'll feel.
Remember: You're growing a baby, and that's already a major accomplishment. Everything else you get done is icing on the cake.
If you're looking for how to relieve stress during pregnancy, read on.
How much stress is too much while pregnant?
Aside from the "do it all" pressure being a lot on you, it's important to know how it can negatively affect your growing baby, too. So how much stress is too much while pregnant?
While short-term, acute moments of stress throughout your pregnancy aren't thought to affect the baby, long-term stress has been shown to have damaging effects. According to the American Psychological Assocation (APA), stress and anxiety while pregnant can end up causing low birth weight, preterm delivery, and mom may end up with postpartum depression.
This means that it's important to both you and your baby-to-be that you take this opportunity to take a deep breath and let it all go. Juggling your pregnancy, work, a family, and your home might feel impossible, but you don't have to do it all perfectly — and you don't have to do any of it without help.
How to overcome perfectionism
Now that you know that "doing it all" is unattainable, it's a great time to also let go of perfectionism. Pregnancy isn't perfect, new motherhood isn't perfect, and your baby won't be perfect all the time (even if you think they are), so don't put the pressure on yourself or them to make it happen — especially since perfectionism and anxiety usually go hand in hand.
But how to overcome perfectionism? Dr. Paula Freedman suggests starting by no longer tying your self-worth to external factors and learning to accept your own strengths and weaknesses.
"Remember that your ability to achieve certain standards or goals does not reflect anything about your worthiness as a human," Freedman told Psychology Today. "You matter simply because you exist. Your values are what make you special and they are uniquely determined by you. Nobody else gets to decide what’s important to you or what it means to be the realest version of you."
It won't happen overnight, but the more you realize that certain things are out of your control — and that's okay — the easier it'll be to step away from that perfectionism you've been battling.
Signs of depression: When to get help
During your pregnancy, you may notice you're experiencing struggles with your mental health you've never faced before, or ones that are worse than you've faced in the past. It's important to know the signs of depression, which, according to the Mayo Clinic, include:
- Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anger
- Lack of energy
- Insomnia or sleeping too much
- Changes in eating habits
- Loss of interest in things you once enjoyed
- Trouble concentrating
If you notice any of these signs in yourself, it might be time to ask for help. Call your OB-GYN and make an appointment. They may be able to point you in the right direction, prescribe medication, and help you get back on your way to feeling your best.
This is also a great time to make use of your village. Your partner, friends, and family are here to support you, and reaching out will help you figure out how to relieve stress while pregnant.
"There’s no gold medal for being perfect. There are no extra points for doing it all on your own," mom Kristen Chase wrote for Mom.com. "The more the merrier—happy child, happy mom. And that’s really all that matters."
