What to Know
Everyone’s adoption and birth story is different, with little nuisances and, yes, annoyances, that make them unique to each story. But when it comes to one woman’s story on TikTok, wherein she cites “red flags” she saw in the 19-year-old pregnant woman whose baby she planned to adopt, the internet was not on her side.
No one came to her comment section to give her the benefit of the doubt or to be the Devil’s advocate. The Devil has plenty of those already, thank you very much. Instead, people shaded the would-be adoptive mother hard and told her that she might be the biggest “red flag” of all judging by what she says about the woman who decided not to place her baby for adoption in the end.
The woman shared her “red flags” when her adoption fell through.
@linzjacks Third Adoption | Part 2 Looking back now… Were these red flags 🚩 or were we just paranoid after two failed adoptions? #storytime #adoption #emotionalstory #fyp #viral ♬ original sound – linzjacks
The woman, Linz, says in her video that she is “still trying to figure out” if what happened leading up to the failed adoption were signs of red flags or if she and her husband were “being paranoid” during the process.
“She told us that she chose adoption because she didn’t feel like she had the resources or the mental capacity at 19 years old to raise two kids. At the time, all of this made sense to us, but when we got to the hospital, little things started happening,” she says in her video. “The birth father ended up staying at the hospital all weekend, even though originally he had said he wouldn’t be able to be there at all. When we asked our case worker how are we to best navigate the back and forth, she said, ‘the baby will stay with you, and when the mom wants to see the baby, she’ll just ask the nurse for the baby back.'”
Then, Linz says, the mom opted to keep the baby in her hospital room for hours at a time and, eventually, it seemed as though she wanted to be discharged with her baby.
In the comments under the video, someone pointed out, “A mother deciding to keep the child IS NOT A RED FLAG.”
And really, that’s what this is, right? Despite Linz labeling the mother’s apparent regret as red flags, it seems like the teenage mother had second thoughts, which she was permitted to.
“No such thing as a failed adoption, just a successful parenting story,” another person commented.
Someone else pointed out, “It sounds like having her husband there and her family showed her that she had more support than she originally thought. I am so happy this baby will be raised with their parents and have a relationship with their sibling!”
She might be the biggest red flag of all though, TBH.
@saronthings Adoption can be such a beautiful thing. But the best interest of the child should always be the priority and that means if the birth mother wants to raise her baby…. no matter how devastating it might be to the prospective parents… they should support it. Certainly not come onto the internet to villainize the woman. #adoption #failedadoption #hottake ♬ original sound – saron
After Linz shared her story on TikTok, another user, Saron, responded to it with a video of her own. In the video that Saron includes in her own, Linz explains that the “birth mom” is a “yes girl,” meaning she allegedly failed to share her own opinions involving the adoption process.
Saron cuts in to add in her own video, “Yeah, which is what makes it extra important that someone triple checks that this is what she wants to do. But you didn’t mind that she was a yes girl when she was saying yes to you? Only when there’s a case worker involved, an unbiased third party who’s there to just make sure that she isn’t being pressured or coerced into giving up her child. That’s when being a yes girl is a problem.”
Saron also acknowledges that Linz experienced the pain of having a baby “ripped away” from her, but that Linz went about it all the wrong way.
“This is gonna sound harsh, but I’m very glad you didn’t get that baby, because this kind of selfishness, there must be, like, a failed adoption support group that you could direct this towards so that you can work through it in a healthy way,” she says. “Not come to the internet to villainize this poor girl. Imagine her scrolling through TikTok and coming upon this video. We’re not entitled to someone else’s child.”
People are suggesting that maybe God intervened on this one.
@linzjacks Replying to @Leticia Cummings There’s A LOT people don’t see in the adoption process. Sharing our experience was never about blame… just the reality of how emotional and complicated this journey can be for everyone involved. #adoptionstories #storytime #family #fyp #viral ♬ original sound – linzjacks
After Linz shared yet another video, people commented that it might be a good thing the adoption fell through. As Saron said, Linz did experience a loss. The issue people have is Linz sharing so many details about it on a public forum. There has got to be a better way to do this, right?
“Adoption is not about the adoptive parents, it is not about you, like at all. It is about the child,” someone commented on that video.
Another added, in an attempt to maybe educate Linz, “Please stop referring to any woman considering adoption as ‘the birth mom.’ She’s an expectant mom considering adoption. Calling her a birth mom prior to relinquishment papers being signed diminishes her being empowered to make the choice.”
Someone else commented, a bit less generously, “After three failed adoptions, I think GOD is giving you [a] hint!”
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