Woman Says She’s Livid After Her Mother Announced Her Pregnancy Before She Could

But while she's over-the-moon about her two babies, the emotions she's been feeling are understandably complicated.

"This pregnancy comes after an early loss, a PCOS diagnosis, and months of trying," she explains in her Reddit post, adding that she's been "a ball of anxiety" since Day 1.

That said, she's actually dealt with generalized anxiety for years, starting when she was just a teen. As a result, she's been in ongoing therapy and was even taking medication up until she got pregnant.

However, because of this intense anxiety, she decided to keep her pregnancy quiet. Especially while she and her husband waited to see how things turned out.

"We told our parents at 20 weeks, siblings at 24 weeks, and only our small circle of friends at 28 weeks," the poster continues.

But beyond that tight little circle, the news remained private.

"I have a large extended family and did not want them knowing," the poster wrote. "I have no reason for this other than personal preference, [and] I told my mother this multiple times."

But, regardless of her personal opinions, she went along with her daughter's wishes.

That is, until recently.

According to the mom-to-be, she and her husband put together a small baby registry of suggested gifts — not because they intended to have a shower, but because both of their parents (plus multiple close friends) kept asking them to.

"We were happy they wanted to help," the poster explained, before adding that she happily gave both of her parents a link to the registry so they could buy the babies a gift.

But that's when her mom started probing further, asking who else she could send the link to.

"I very specifically said NO ONE," the poster recalled. "I repeated that I am not ready for the extended family to know."

But just 10 minutes later, she started getting email alerts indicating that her extended family was quickly buying up items from her no-longer-private registry.

Realizing immediately what this meant, the mom-to-be couldn't help but grow angry.

"My mother literally made my pregnancy announcement and gave out my registry when I asked her not to," she concluded. And she wasn't going to stay quiet about it.

"I confronted her and told her I was angry," the poster recalled. "I told her that she took my announcement away. She disrespected my boundaries."

"She immediately went on defense and played victim," the poster shared. "She said she was just trying to help and wanted to make sure I had everything I needed."

But as kind as that sounds, "that is NOT THE POINT," the poster declared.

In fact, the entire scenario has caused a major rift between the mother and daughter.

"I told her she was no longer welcome to see the babies when they are born," the poster shared. "I told her they are my children, they are not her grandchildren."

Oof.

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"I’d be mad at my mom, too," one person wrote, assuring the poster that she was NTA (Not the A–hole) here.

"If she wanted to help … she would have followed your wishes," another person reasoned. "Instead, she put her own priorities ahead of that, helping herself. She basically illustrated with her actions that she thinks her way of doing things is better than how you want to do things."

"The way I see it, if someone can’t respect boundaries during a super sensitive time like this, when will they?" another person noted. "You were very clear and you’re definitely NTA."

"NTA, but with an asterisk," one person told her. "You're within your right to be mad. You're within your right to stop talking to her. 'Don't announce my pregnancy unless and until I'm ready' is a fine boundary to set."

"However, if this is a pattern of behavior for her and you still want her to actively participate in your life, part of setting boundaries is having realistic expectations of the other party and planning accordingly," they added. "You cannot control other people's actions, only your own."

Many others said that mom-to-be was probably letting her heightened anxiety get the best of her.

"I think you’re letting your anxiety control your emotions and decisions and it’s a little much," one person leveled with her. "Giving birth to these babies will likely not make your anxiety any better — chances are you’ll deal with it postpartum as well — possibly worse.

"As someone who dealt with postpartum anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks," they added, "I URGE you to talk to your OB now so you can get it under control. Then maybe have a calm conversation with your mom explaining that what she did was wrong and that you’re very hurt because she didn’t respect you."

"You're right," she admitted in response to one commenter. "My anxiety is [at] an all-time high. I just felt more at peace with less people knowing. I just feel like she stole that from me. I have an appointment with my OB on Monday and I will talk to him about PPD and PPA."

Hopefully, this mother-daughter duo can work something out before the birth of the twins. The fourth trimester is hard enough on its own — adding unnecessary family drama into the mix will only make it worse.