An anonymous new mom probably didn't expect the reaction she got when she recently went on Reddit to vent about something that's been bugging her. According to her post, her husband has been complaining nonstop about how tired he is from work, and while she's empathetic to a point, she's had enough — especially since she's been stuck at home caring for their newborn twins and dealing with some major sleep-deprivation.
The post was shared earlier this week in the motherhood subreddit "Beyond the Bump"
The original poster (OP) titled the thread simply, "I'm sick of hearing how tired my husband is," before briefly diving into the issue.
"I get it, he works and it sucks," the OP wrote. "But the sleep he gets each night (8 hours), I'm lucky to get in 3 days. We have 4-month-old twins (2 months corrected) and I'm drowning but I have to prop my husband up as well."
"In my next life," she declared, "I'm coming back as a man."
Her confession was brief but refreshingly honest
That's probably why it's already managed to pull in hundreds of comments in the past 24 hours — all from fellow mamas who feel like the OP took the words right out of their mouths.
"Preach, girl," one mom commented. "I stand in solidarity with you. But you have twins, what the hell is he doing still asleep? Wake the damn man up."
"The resentment is real," added another. "My husband wasn’t very hands-on with the first baby, but he’s gotten better this time around. Although we schedule shifts, he still gets the six uninterrupted hours [of sleep]."
"He’s comparing a paper-cut to a gunshot wound," said one mom bluntly, who then suggested the OP remind her husband that they are both exhausted, but given the circumstances, he should keep his complaints in check.
In fact, a lot of Redditors just couldn't get over this one
"You both work during the day," one person wrote. "Why does he get to sleep uninterrupted and you don’t? I can understand if the twins need breastfeeding, they might not want dad, but especially with twins, he should be there in support."
"It’s hard enough sharing the labor load with one baby and a man," another mom pointed out. "I can’t imagine doing it with two. I’d just be double the amount of pissed off and double the amount of exhausted."
"Sending you strength to donkey kick that man," they added.
Some users urged her to talk to her husband and be honest about needing help
"Would shifts work?" one person suggested. "My partner works 8-4 so we do split shifts. I sleep 7pm – 1am and then he sleeps 1am to like 7/8am. We only started doing this when we could feed them solo and they could handle being in a supported seat."
"One thing my husband and I decided is that we would take as much of an equal share of caring for the baby as possible," another mom shared. "He wants to help, [but] sometimes he just gets frustrated because he doesn’t have the instincts I do. Those come with time and practice."
Others suggested trying a few tactics that were a bit more blunt.
"I just gave the baby to my husband one night and went to sleep," one mom wrote. "Just basic information on what the baby might need. No explanation needed. Men are weird they just step up if there's no alternative."
In an update, the new mom said she was shocked by the outpouring of support
"Wow, I really didn't expect to get this much attention on this post, but I really appreciate the encouragement from everyone," she shared.
In fact, all of their encouragement and advice has forced her to raise the issue with some close family members and think about how the load could be more evenly distributed.
"I spoke with my family today who agreed the current setup isn't working and have encouraged me to change it for my own sanity," the OP continued. "Hopefully I'll get a full night's rest soon!"
"We [also] discovered one of our twins is teething and is super cranky, so I'll for sure be getting my husband to help more!" she added.
Here's hoping this actually gives her some much-needed rest — and gives her husband the reality check he definitely needs.
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