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Expecting a baby is both joyful and stressful. When you’re expecting multiples, everything is exacerbated. Knowing how to prepare for twins will help you both mentally and physically prepare for the challenge. You’ll want to make sure you ask your doctor all the right questions about what to expect with morning sickness, weight gain, risks, and labor expectations.
You’ll want to do more than ask your doctor a lot of questions. You’ll need to talk to your partner and your older kids about what this means for your relationship, you family, finances, and your future. You’ll also need to start developing the network of friends and family that will be able to help you during the pregnancy and after the babies arrive. Getting help is one of the most important things you can do to maintain optimal mental health when expecting twins.
What to expect when having twins: New mom advice
Join support groups and learn what it really means to have twins. Find out what you can expect during the pregnancy process and what you can do to make your life any easier. Other moms who have been through this will help you ascertain what you really need to buy two of and what you dont, what to expect in terms of discomfort through pregnancy, and what labor will be like.
But it also is about nurturing two individuals into caring, contributing adults. It’s important to remember they are individuals. “Don’t refer to them in a collective form, i.e. as ‘the twins.’ Each child has a different personality and learning style,” Sandra Graham from Kiddie Academy Educational Child Care explained to Mom.com.
This is great advice from the start to explain to your partner and other children. You’re having twins but really having two individuals who have their own likes, dislikes, and needs. “Don’t assume that just because they look alike that the children will like doing the same things,” Graham added. Prepare yourself to help your twins grow based on their unique characteristics.
It’s also important to talk to your older children about what to expect — research has shown that having twins or multiples as siblings can affect them, as they see the attention previously showered on them dwindle. “The sibling often becomes a nonperson in the public eye, and that has a devastating effect,” Donald Keith, executive director of the Center for the Study of Multiple Births, told the New York Times.
What to expect when having twins: Twin birth plan
A birth plan is an outline of how you want your labor and delivery to flow. What and when you want certain drugs administered, if at all, who can be in the room, and whether you want things like lights dimmed or music playing. A birth plan is your best case scenario but needs to remain flexible and you can’t predict everything that can happen in the labor and delivery process.
It’s a good idea to develop the birth plan with your spouse. Getting their input is important to make sure it’s a wonderful experience for both of you. Share your plans with you doctor, midwife, and doula. It’s important that they know what your wishes are before everything begins.
A typical birth plan covers basic things such as:
- Basics: Care provider’s information including doctors, midwives, and doulas. Note where you plan on giving birth and who will be with you throughout the delivery process
- Atmosphere: How can the room be set up to keep you most comfortable? This might be dimming the lights or playing music. You should also note whether you want someone to document the delivery with photos or a video.
- Labor preferences: This is where you list whether you want medications and under what circumstances, if you want to use a yoga ball or walk around, or whether a warm shower would help relax you.
What to expect when having twins: Childbirth expenses
Having a baby is expensive. Having two is more expensive and you need to budget for the costs before you are in the thick of things. It’s important to discuss with your partner and your other kids what these heightened expenses might mean for your spending habits. According to one study, having one child will cost about $21,000 while having twins multiplies this by five coming in at $105,000. This number jumps to $400,000 if you’re having triplets or more.
That’s a lot of money and that is just for the childbirth process. Budget for other expenses such as twin strollers, extra clothing, and double the supplies such as diapers. Getting a handle on the costs of twins ahead of time will greatly reduce your stress in the early moments of motherhood with twins.
Don’t let the stress and expense of having twins rain on your parade. You’re bringing into the world two amazing little bodies who will bring you joy and pride for years to come.
