Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of year. But there's one grandmother out there who is "dreading" the holiday season. Why? Because of her 3-year-old granddaughter. The grandmother in question wrote in to the "Ask Amy" advice column to figure out how she will get through a 10-day family visit with a child who tries "being the center of attention."
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She sounds like a fun grandma
"I am dreading the visit because my 3-year-old granddaughter is unable to be around others without being the center of attention," she begins.
"If adults try to have a conversation, she interrupts continuously, and if she has nothing to actually say, she just makes loud noises. It is beyond irritating," she continues. "I try not to interfere with my daughter’s parenting, but I’m not sure how to survive 10 days of this, when even brief phone calls with the two of them make me crazy."
3-year-olds are a handful, no one is denying that
It seems like grandma may have forgotten what it's like to be around a small child, which is understandable. Toddlers, especially 3-year-olds, are quite a lot to manage, but their behavior is rarely malicious. They're still learning how to be people. If the daughter and granddaughter are coming for such a long trip, maybe the daughter is hoping that her mom will spend some quality time with her granddaughter, and the way grandma is reacting might make that bonding difficult.
Amy had some great advice though
She immediately points out: "It is extremely common for 3-year-old children to want to dominate their primary parent’s attention," before reminding grandma that "Children learn not to do this through a combination of repeated reminders and distractions" and offering suggestions for what to say and ways to help distract the toddler.
"You should count on having your daughter’s full attention only during your granddaughter’s afternoon nap time and after she is asleep at night," Amy warned. "You would not dread this visit so much if you reframed your orientation: This will not be a mother-daughter visit between you and your daughter, but a Christmas time visit with your granddaughter."
She ended with a genuine piece of wisdom: "I hope you will find ways to bond with this little girl that will make this visit memorable for both of you."
People had a lot of opinions on this grandma, and they're all valid
Writer Amber Sparks tweeted about the grandma's ask, and as always, people came through to offer their take on the situation, often hilariously. "Like ma’am, are you aware that toddlers are barely past the feral stage, she is not going to contribute to a conversation nor stop trying to be the center of attention, I’m sorry," she wrote.
"One of those types who hates kids, yet at the same time would be carping at her daughter 'when are you going to give me grrrrandchildren'," someone replied.
"Lol might be my MIL. Every time we see them (mayyyybe once a year) she comments loudly 'you could not PAY me to have small children again.' Always in earshot of my preschooler ," another wrote.
"in 10 years or less, she can complain that granddaughter never visits or when she does, will only engage with whatever device is being used by then," someone else wrote.
They really read this grandma the business
"I have an almost 3 yo granddaughter & I cannot comprehend a grandparent being so nasty to a TODDLER," one grandma wrote.
"I know adults who are unable to be around others without being the center of attention. At least at 3 you can chalk it up to being a developmental stage," someone pointed out.
"I bet a million dollars that this grandma has one of those precious houses where danger/potential destruction lurks around every corner and there’s no safe place for this little one to play like a normal preschooler," another added.
