We've all heard about the importance of moms "getting in the picture". All too often, moms find themselves behind the camera instead of in front of it, leaving us curiously absent from all the family photo albums. But one mom's recent post about family photos isn't about her own absence from the frame; instead, it's about the heartbreaking absence of the two babies that she lost, and the one single photo that reminds her of "what would have been."
The story was previously shared on Facebook
It was written by Stacey Skrysak, a journalist and news anchor from Springfield, Illinois, whose road to motherhood was unfortunately paved with a lot of heartache. (In fact, that's a great deal of what she writes about on social media, as well as in her personal blog.)
Back in 2013, Skrysak was thrilled to learn she was pregnant, after years of infertility. But even better was the news that she was expecting triplets.
A visit to her doctor confirmed the happy news, and in the weeks that followed, Skrysak and her husband Ryan started daydreaming about their future with "Baby A," "Baby B," and "Baby C."
Sadly, though, things didn't go as planned.
At just 22 weeks, the new mom went into labor
"Baby A," who was later named Abigail, died shortly after birth in her mother's arms. But babies "B" and "C" – named Parker and Peyton — fought hard to stay on. Just two days after he was born, however, Parker passed away, too.
Only Peyton managed to survive her premature delivery, and eventually came home after an extended stay in the NICU.
Because of this, Skrysak's motherhood journey looks a lot different than most — and so do her "family pictures."
"This is my first family picture," she wrote in her now-viral post, which was shared alongside a black-and-white sonogram. "This is also my only family picture."
"There are no pictures of three siblings frolicking in the park," she continued. "There are no snapshots of matching pajamas on Christmas morning. This is all I have."
Now that single sonogram holds so much meaning in her heart
"There are no newborn pictures of me and my husband in the hospital room," Skrysak explained. "No happy moment as we first met our triplets. There are no tangible memories of our children together. Only this one picture."
"This is all we have, one ultrasound picture taken at 8 weeks into my pregnancy," she went on. "It’s the only time we saw all three babies in one snapshot. I didn’t think much of it, never imagining that I would never see them together in the same picture again."
According to Skrysak, she saw "hundreds" of sonograms throughout her pregnancy. But this one was special. This was the only one where the babies were all small enough to be seem together.
"Little did I know that my first snapshot would be my last," the mother lamented.
Nearly 10 years later, she still feels the sting of that loss
"I only have one triplet here on earth," Skrysak wrote. "But this picture is a reminder that my children existed."
Sadly, she is far from alone in this kind of pain.
"So many women share a similar picture," she shared, of the "unfortunate bond" that is child loss. "It’s painful, it’s lonely, and it’s a lifelong struggle. We watch other families from afar, imagining what our lives would be like if our children were alive."
In the end, that's really all that remains — the what if's that swirl around in our heads, forcing us to imagine how very different the path could have been for us. But Skrysak does her best not to get too caught up in this.
"As I look at this picture, I no longer think 'Why me?'" she confesses. "I can now look back with a smile, remembering those early days of pregnancy that were filled with so much hope and happiness."
"This picture is the only photo I have of my children together," Skrysak went on. "It’s a picture I will cherish forever. Three little babies, together in my womb. This picture a beautiful reminder of when I first became a mother."
Skrysak's story instantly struck a chord with people
Since October 13, her post has been shared thousands of times, and has inspired many mothers to share similar stories of their own.
"It’s so hard looking at sonograms of my sweet girl," commented one mom. "She passed an hour after she was born. Her first birthday was on the 10th."
"I have this same family photo, the only one of the three of them together," another mom shared. "Lots of love to you."
"My momma heart breaks for you," yet another mom chimed in. "It is so hard to lose a baby. You are a warrior."
Experiencing this kind of loss is undeniably tragic
And yet, it happens way more often than we think.
According to the March of Dimes, roughly 10 to 15 percent of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage, which typically happens before the 20th week. After that point, less than 0.5% will end in a loss, but by then, it can be even more devastating for the parent (or parents).
When it comes to stillbirths, the CDC reports that those occur in 1 out of every 175 births, which amounts to about 21,000 babies each year in the US. Neonatal death — or the death of an infant who survives birth, but dies within the first year — happens to just under 1% of babies each year.
Skrysak's post couldn't have been more timely
Though her loss did happen nearly 10 years ago, it's resonating with others right now as the US continues to honor Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.
And as heartbreaking as Skrysak's story is, it's also inspiring. For one thing, it's the story of a little fighter named Peyton, who survived her premature birth and went on to defy the odds. But it's also the story of a woman who wouldn't give up hope — or the dream of becoming a mother.
In 2019, Skrysak and her husband Ryan happily welcomed another daughter — their "rainbow baby," Piper — who happily joined her big sis Peyton.
Now Skrysak continues to share her story with others as a way of raising awareness about child loss and spreading hope to those who may be going though something similar. (It's safe to say she's spreading that message perfectly.)
