New motherhood takes a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Those are some of the reasons new moms need a ton of support. When they're not getting that support, especially from those closest to them, it makes everything harder.
A new mom turned to Reddit to vent about her husband and the ways he's changed since she gave birth to their child. She says that he has made comments about her postpartum body that have decimated her self-esteem. And people are trying to make her realize that she deserves better.
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When she gave birth to her son via a C-section, she explains that her husband was working 14-hour days, which means that she was doing all of the childcare by herself.
"I was home alone with a newborn, recovering from major abdominal surgery while chronically sleep-deprived," she said.
She added that the stress of being the primary care provider for her son and not having time to care for herself led to her milk drying up after four weeks. Her husband claimed that her milk drying up was due to "lack of trying," and he complained that she wasn't doing much around the house.
She reveals that she suffered from severe postpartum depression, even trying to end her life twice. Thankfully, she survived the attempts, but they were clear calls for help. But it wasn't her husband who stepped up — it was her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law began taking the baby one night a week so that the mom could have some time to herself and get a good night's sleep and take care of herself. She revealed that the one night a week gave her the opportunity to shower; the only opportunity she had all week.
"My MIL even told me my husband's dad (her ex) was the exact same way and never helped either," she wrote.
Additionally, her husband paid for her and the baby to take a three-month trip to her home country to spend time with her family. It was there where she realized how burned out she was.
"My C-section scar finally stopped hurting. I even lost half a stone," she said of the trip.
She was on her own, taking care of her child full-time, depressed, and eating out of boredom.
Instead of trying to help her, her husband began criticizing her for her weight gain. Never mind the fact that weight gain is common after having a baby. Stress is also a common cause of weight gain as well. She says he called her "disgusting and unhealthy in his eyes."
"He can't look at me or touch me. He hasn't told me he loved me in about seven months," she said. "My husband has told me I need to take accountability and grow up and mature and actually lose the weight, and that he deaerves (sic) an apology from me because now he has to live with a fat wife he can't look at our (sic) touch."
Even though she isn't asking for advice, people couldn't help but give it.
"Please please imagine if someone you cared about told you everything you just told us, what would you think? Do you think this is the kind of 'love' and respect you should receive from a spouse?" one commenter wrote.
"Wow. How can u even think of any other option rather than leave this 'man' and be happy? Honestly, it will only get worse! Trust me," someone else said.
"You have a son, right? Your husband grew up in this same toxic atmosphere and turned into his horrible father. If you stay, your son will be ruined. Your precious boy will grow into a monster like his own father. Don’t do that to your own child. Don’t let him become that," a person commented.
"I know a way you can lose A LOT of weight. Divorce," someone said.
