‘Become a Mom, Lose a Marriage’: Mom Pleads for Reassurance After Marital Woes

"My son turned 14 weeks old on Friday," she started the post. "I know the first year of marriage is the hardest. I also know the first year as parents is hard on the relationship too. We were stupid enough to do both at the same time."

"Despite being together for years and always been solid, my husband and I can’t stop bickering. I’m not happy, I wish I was. He doesn’t seem happy. 3 months shy of our first wedding anniversary and I’m pretty sure we’re gonna be divorced by our second anniversary and I DONT want that but I feel like I’m just watching the train go and I’m tied [sic] and there’s nothing I can do. PPD doesn’t help, I know."

"Please tell me it gets better. If he found someone else I wouldn’t even blame him at this point cause I’ve been so awful. Some days I don’t even want to be a mom anymore, sometimes I think they would be better off with me. It’s just a matter of time before it’s actually that way and he takes our son and leaves," she finished.

After her initial words, she went back and made two edits: "Edit: he doesn’t feel this way, he tries to reassure me as much as he can. This is all from my thoughts."

"Edit: I don’t want a divorce. I don’t think he does either. My thoughts and anxiety tell me he’s just gonna leave. And because of my thoughts and my moods and behaviors, IF it happened I wouldn’t blame him," she said.

The comments were full of nothing but positive encouragement and moms sharing their own experiences.

"Do not make any big decisions within a year of baby! 14 weeks you’re still dealing with hormones and sleep deprivation and adjusting to the new reality. This is NORMAL but not talked about at all. It’s a steep learning curve and tension is high, try to give each other grace and time, it gets better," one mom wrote.

"I truly thought my husband and I were not going to be married by our second year of marriage either. I had pretty bad PPD that I actually hid from everyone (including him) and it made it even harder. We fought over everything and it felt like we hated each other. But you know what, one day the fog lifted, we got some sleep, spoken gentler to each other, and got back to where we were pre baby and then some. It does get better. It’s hard the first year but before you know it’ll you’ll look back and all the divorce thoughts will be a distant memory. Hang in there mama you guys have got this!" another wrote.

"I can’t tell you it’ll get better because I’m 14wks pp too. But I can tell you we are struggling too. We don’t even sleep in the same bed (baby cosleeps and we’ve agreed it’s safer to have just me and LO in the bed and not daddy too). I had a traumatic birth and postpartum period. I’ve been to the hospital more since giving birth than I ever did my entire life. We fight constantly. I’m sure I have PPD and so does he. But it’s all fixable and I think your relationship is too. Please don’t make rash decisions and consider getting evaluated for ppd for both of you. Having a baby changes everything. Your entire world is no longer the same. I recommend a therapist even if it’s for just dealing with the changes," another mom wrote.

"Hey, i got married when i was 8 months pregnant with my first baby. We were pretty much room mates for the first year of baby and marriage, we just had to ride through it. We have two kids now and have been married six years, things are easier now that both kids are older," another shared.