My last four Instagram posts paint a really pretty picture of a pulled-together life:
- A career milestone
- A really fabulous DIY
- Homemade bread
- Three sweet boys lovingly smiling
We all know social media is a highlight reel. After all, it’s a place to chronicle the things we want to remember. And there is nothing wrong with those kinds of posts. But here’s the balance, the real takeaway: from the outside it might look like I have it all together, but at the end of the day I feel just like you — totally behind and stressed. Because, well, life.
Motherhood is hard. Marriage is hard. Juggling work and groceries and yard work, it’s all just a lot. My to-do list runneth over. Every. Single. Day.
You live in this reality too, right?
Even when I back away and prioritize, the fullness of this season with young children, homemaking, finances, spouse dynamics, and everything else on top is overwhelming. For everyone.
And yet, we are pros at making life look real pretty. All the while, behind the scenes, we’re managing a hefty dose of chaos — mentally and physically. Our own chaos and, often, the chaos belonging to each member of our family.
That career milestone photo?
I’ve never been more nervous. I did my hair and makeup that day for the first time in weeks. And even though it was a great accomplishment, it also felt like an out-of-body experience. Like, did I actually deserve it?
The DIY? My husband and I started it eight months ago. Well, I dreamed it up and he brought it to life while I kept the kids out of the garage so he could focus. No one tells you how long DIYs really take. We’re all about the finished product, but life is really about the process. The months and months of not-so-glamorous baby steps that finally, maybe one day, add up to something worth sharing.
The homemade bread? I’m stress baking. No secret there. Carbs are comfort and even though I’ll complain about the bloat later, you better believe I enjoyed the majority of that perfection.
And the three smiling boys? I 100% bribed them with a TV show and lollipops. I may have even sternly said, “Mommy just wants ONE picture of you not fighting. LOOK HAPPY! SMILE BIG!”
By all appearances, you think I’m crushing it, but in reality, I’m barely hanging on
I’m hanging on to the end of that rope we used to climb in PE. Well, I never climbed it. I couldn’t. I wasn’t coordinated enough or strong enough. And things haven’t really changed. So, don’t for one second compare yourself to me. I’m just the girl at the bottom of the rope.
What you can do is cheer for me. Because I’m trying. I’m trying real hard. And because I’m cheering for you. Whether you’re at the bottom of the rope with me, barely hanging on, or inching towards the top reaching for a big victory, I am in your corner. In both the virtual and real-life community of moms, we must function with high levels of grace and low levels of judgment.
We are all doing our very best, each one of us
We’re highlighting our wins and collaging a log of memories we hope to look back on fondly. Can we all be a bit more vulnerable? Yes. That’s why I’m here confessing. That’s why I want you to see that one woman can be both crushing it and barely hanging on.
That’s the power of moms. We can do both. We can exist in that complicated in between. Here’s to us. Crush it with me. Hold on with me.
