16 Ways to Keep Stress From Ruining Your Holidays

The fastest way to dim holiday magic is to let stress ruin everything. But it's hard not to get overwhelmed, especially if you're the one in charge of making Christmas, Hanukkah or other holiday celebrations happen.

If the first signs of exhaustion are setting in, there are a few things you can do to keep from sinking into the darkness. One of the easiest? Stay positive. Holidays happen every year and they should really be a time of joy. You've got plenty to be thankful for and focus on that. Everything else will either fall into place or not be missed.

If you need a little help with those positive thoughts, take five minutes to, literally, count your blessings. Name out loud (or write down on paper) who or what you appreciate in that moment and in life.

There are always more sign-up sheets than hours in the day. And you don't have to do it all. Yes, there's a lot of pressure to be part of making magic happen for others, but if it will make you miserable and stressed, skip it this year. Get your karma on in the spring, when things are less hectic.

Are the cookies a little over-cooked? Does the tree lean to the right? Who cares! They're done. Don't worry about "perfect"—just get things to "good enough."

Moms are often expected to pull off the holidays with dinners and gift exchanges, decorations and costumes for the annual Christmas pageant. It's a lot of work to make other people happy and joyful on the holidays. But you need to take time for you, too.

It's always good to write up a plan, especially when you start feeling overwhelmed by everything that's still left to do. Map it all out on daily to-do lists and be sure to include small, achievable goals for each day. That way, you'll know you're making progress and feel motivated to forge ahead.

Just like it's OK to say no to something, it's also OK to stay home. You don't have to attend every party you're invited to. You also don't have to go out and see Santa. Or parades. Or the neighbor with the over-the-top Christmas lights. As long as you're happy, comfortable and feel the joy of the season, you can stay right where you love it most: at home.

If you plan it right, you can get ready without ever having to break into a stressful sweat. Just make sure to get one thing done each day and don't put off everything until the last minute. Even if you haven't had Christmas presents hidden all over the house since July, you can get ready for the big events by using your time wisely.

Bundle your actions into themes, and take care of one theme every day. Only go to the mall or post office once. Buy one holiday dress and wear it to every party (no one will notice). Hit Costco for food and beverages in the middle of the month and then no more. Choose one holiday event—a Christmas pageant, the Nutcracker ballet, seeing Santa, watching the floats in the annual parade—and save the rest for the next few years.

Even in planning, we can sometimes take on too much. If you're not even in the second week of December and you're already spent, modify your lists and goals, scale back and give yourself more free time. Stay ahead of the anxiety and stress by picking your non-negotiables. And then let go of anything else.

It's the easiest thing to cross off your list but the best thing for managing stress. In fact, you should try to exercise more during the holidays, if that's at all possible. If not, make sure to get outside and breathe fresh air every day. Move your body! You'll love how you feel, fighting off the holiday indulgences. You'll also have time to clear your mind, regroup and dive back in.

Doing everything yourself is hard, especially with kids who still need your care. Ask for help wherever you can: childcare, meal prep, cleanup and shopping. There's no reason your partner should think that the holidays are truly magical. They're hard work, made less so with support and companionship.

Politics, old grudges, rivalries and general discomfort can often come bubbling up when family spends too much time in a small space together. You know your triggers and, when possible, make an agreement with yourself to not react. Go to your happy place (or make an excuse and get out of the house for a bit). Find someone you're comfortable around and hang out with her, or head to the kitchen and insist on taking care of the dishes. When all else fails, pat your stomach and move to the bathroom. Hide there as long as your dignity will allow.

Pick your favorite thing about the holidays and go all-in on that. Let the rest happen—or not. Whatever brings you joy will bring your kids joy. Anything else will just build resentment.

The holidays can be hard work. They're also a time when our strongest memories are formed and remembered. It can be worth it in the end, but only if you're realistic about what you can accomplish with the time and resources that you have. And pat yourself on the back when it's all over. Whatever you did, whatever you pulled off—it will be unforgettable.

Don't let anything surprise you (except maybe your gifts from Santa). Know that no matter how prepared or chill you are, how much you said no, how much you outsourced professionals, whose name you drew in the office white elephant gift drawing, there will be drama. Plan for it. Embrace it. And know that it, too, is part of the season.