20 Things People With Anxiety Need During the Holidays

Nearly 20 percent of adults in America experience some type of anxiety disorder in any given year. For those who live with anxiety, the holidays can be especially difficult. Routines are upended, and there's excess everywhere. The pressure to travel, to socialize, to be "on" can feel crushing. If you know people with anxiety and want to help, find out what they might need, such as a space where they can go to get away from everything.

For those who don't suffer anxiety disorders, those who do can appear intentionally slow or unmotivated to get on board with your holiday fun. In reality, they're being cautious, working with their feelings and working very hard to fulfill your expectations. They need your patience.

It's helpful when you have an anxiety disorder to build in plenty of down time. You can help those with anxiety by allowing them to take a break, to stare at their phones or just zone out. Don't take it personally. And don't criticize. Down time is self-care for those with anxiety.

Who doesn't love Christmas carols on a loop and big, loud crowds of happy people? Those with anxiety, that's who. You don't have to turn down the music or tell everyone to be quiet. Instead, point a guest or family member with anxiety toward a room at the back of the house where they can go to calm their minds in the quiet.

For a lot of people, the best way to manage anxiety is to exercise. So, if your holiday guest wants to go for a run, or asks whether you live near any 24-hour gyms, don't assume they're being obsessive or trying to avoid you. For some with an anxiety disorder, a hard workout is medicine.

Decorations and lavish meals are fun, but they're not a requirement for enjoying the holidays. They can, however, be overwhelming expectations for people with anxiety. Let people with anxiety opt out of the stress of pulling off the re-creation of a Charles Dickens novel.

Travel anxiety is very real and, for some of its sufferers, a deal-breaker for getting together with family over the holidays. Be understanding if someone you know opts out of a long-haul flight. Instead, find a way to make plans and see each other where they won't have to leave the ground.

Gift-buying and gift-giving are part of the fun of Christmas and the winter holidays, right? But for some people, it creates anxiety. If you know someone who is crushed by the pressure to go out and shop or to find the right gift—or who shuts down during gift exchanges—give them the gift of opting out this holiday.

Same goes for parties. Sometimes, they're just too much for people with anxiety. If the RSVP is a no, offer to meet up for coffee or get together with a small group. But don't be offended if your friend or relative with anxiety doesn't show up to get down.

Online shopping is a blessing for people with anxiety, since mall shopping can be a curse. The artificial air that's too hot in winter, the piped-in music, stressed-out people, long lines, messy store aisles—it's sensory overload. Let people with anxiety opt out of shopping trips to the mall. Aim for smaller retailers, or take care of shopping online.

Bringing someone with anxiety into social situations with lots of people they don't know can be tough. Let your friends with anxiety be in their comfort zone during the holidays. Kindly let them pick and choose whether they come to your get-togethers.

Depression often comes with anxiety. So, while it's important to reach out to friends and family who suffer from either, also know that it's not your job—nor is it possible—to snap them out of their sadness. Support them, but let them manage it.

At the same time, no sad faces, OK? People with anxiety or depression want support—not your pity.

If a family member or guest has anxiety and everyone has gathered to decorate the tree or make cookies or throw a party, give out specific instructions for what you'd like people to do. Pitching in can be overwhelming for people with anxiety, as they might second- (or third-) guess what the task at hand is.

Drinking water can alleviate stress for some, and it can sometimes calm the symptoms of anxiety. Make sure you have plenty of chilled water available for guests or family who you know have anxiety.

It's also best for everyone, especially those with anxiety, to keep blood sugar levels even and to eat well. The holidays can be endless plates of sugar and rich foods, so make sure there are also healthy options.

Sometimes all a person with anxiety wants to do is completely check out and take a nap. Make sure guests know where they can go lie down if they're hitting a point of not being able to manage their anxiety. Even a couch with a pillow and blanket away from others will be a welcome spot to take a break.

Alcohol and anxiety don't tend to mix, so make sure you serve non-alcoholic options at parties and get-togethers. Mix up fruit smoothies, virgin cocktails or have soda or sparkling waters on ice.

People with anxiety are happy to receive your support and understanding, especially during the high-stress and frenzied holiday season. What they'd prefer you not give them, however, is your unsolicited advice. They've been dealing with their anxiety and, perhaps, are even under a doctor's care. So, your essential oils, tough talk or forwarded links feel intrusive.

What you can do for people with anxiety is invite them over for low-key fun. Just a few of your most mellow friends, maybe a board game and some snacks. No gifts, no loud music, no pressure to be "on." The only goal is to spend time together and make low-key holiday memories.