Even when you’re trying to raise a fierce, independent, take-no-prisoners daughter who laughs in the face of gender stereotypes, there are certain things that almost every mother of a daughter will experience. Here are 10 of them.
There will probably be a princess phase
You can fight it, but that just makes it last longer. At least there are a variety of princesses to choose from.
She will cut her own hair
Whether at age 2 or age 12, the scissors will come out to do some real damage.
Your lipstick or mascara will go missing, regularly
Your makeup drawer is considered free game, whether you like it or not.
There will be secrets
That little girl who told you everything will become the tween or teen who has a secret or two — and it might break your heart.
Her period is actually NBD
Honestly, we’ve come a long way from Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. You can barely find giant maxi pads anymore, let alone sanitary belts. Now she can track her cycle on an iPhone app and wear period panties so she doesn’t need to sneak off to the girls' bathroom during 3rd period with tampons and panty liners in hand.
That said, PMS is still real.
You’ll start providing mom-mentary for everyday life
(And some of it might even sink in.)
“‘Mom-mentary’ is what our girls call my weighing-in on movies, social media memes, and TV shows,” says Lori Hamor, a mother of two girls, now both in college, from Ojai, California. “If we were watching a show that glossed over civil rights or left out women's contribution to the economy, I would pause the show and give further explanation," whether it's about the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire or endocrine disruptors.
Your role models will become their role models, and vice versa
One of the great pleasures of raising girls, says Hamor, is identifying women who inspire. “I had my own writers, artists, singers, performers, midwives, wild women, and healers who I turned to, and I introduced my girls to them, of course,” she says. “But I love when they show me a woman artist who they love and support … now that they are far away from me.”
You’ll bond over things you wish you didn't
Chrissy Goodman, a mother in Los Angeles, remembers watching the Supreme Court confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh in 2018 with her two girls. “When Christine Blasey Ford came forward accusing Kavanaugh of sexual assault, it brought up a lot of questions and really important conversations,” Goodman says. The girls didn’t hear all the details, but they did want to know more about consent, sexual assault, and when and how to tell someone if they are being inappropriate. “They asked me about my own experiences, which I shared very honestly with them, but they also wanted to talk about the experiences they’ve already had as well. Not surprisingly, my 4th grader and my 6th grader both described experiences with what was described to them as ‘boys being boys,’ and had lots of big feelings surrounding that.”
Goodman says the conversations that came out of watching the hearings will always stand out as some of the most memorable and important parenting moments as a mother of daughters.
