The past nearly two years of pandemic living have been absolutely brutal for parents. We’ve had to balance working from home with children literally climbing all over us. Even once our kids were back in daycare or school, we’ve had to deal with exposures, closings, and quarantines. All of this has gone on beneath the backdrop of our own fears about contracting the virus, along with heated and politicized debates about vaccines, masks, and everything else.
It’s been A LOT, and all of us have been affected in one way or another. Many parents — moms, in particular — kind of just soldier through times of crisis, putting their kids’ needs above their own. It makes sense, and it’s how we survive, but doing this can really take a toll on our mental health … because even if you push the stress aside to show up for your family, the anxiety is still very much there and can eat away at you.
The bottom line is that, for many of us, the stress we’ve been living with for the past two years has become untenable, and many of us are dealing with mental health challenges — or full-on mental health crises.
As such, we’ve developed some resources for any parents out there who are feeling like their mental health is in serious need of care, and just aren’t sure where to start.
Should you be concerned about your mental health?
When you’ve been dealing with lots of turmoil and life upheaval, it can be hard to know whether what you are experiencing are just normal “this sucks right now” emotions, or if you are really experiencing a mental health issue that needs to be addressed.
First, keep in mind that any intense stress is a reason for a little extra TLC, whether it be upping your self-care routines, speaking to a therapist or counselor, or making an effort to decrease the stress triggers in your life. All of us deserve to feel whole and well.
That said, there are some signs that may indicate you are experiencing a larger mental health crisis. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), these signs include:
- Feeling like you can’t stop worrying
- Feeling “low” and sad much of the time
- Having difficulty concentrating
- Intense mood changes — feeling elated one moment and sad the next
- Difficulty sleeping
- Extreme irritability or anger
- Wanting to avoid friends or socializing
- Not being able to eat, or feeling out of control about eating
- Physical ailments like headaches, stomach issues, or muscle pain, without clear causes
- Substance abuse issues (drugs, alcohol)
- Delusions or hallucinations
- Unable to complete your day-to-day tasks
- Thoughts of suicide
Getting help
If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, please consider talking to your doctor. Mental health issues are common — 1 in 5 women have experienced one in the past year — and there is no shame in seeking help.
Your primary care doctor can help you find a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Usually mental health issues can be addressed with talk therapy, but often, adding medication can really help. Everyone is different, but help is out there.
Importantly, there are some mental health conditions that require immediate emergency medical care, such as if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or if you are self-harming. Call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline (it’s free and completely confidential) at 1-800-273-8255.
Even if you are not experiencing a mental health crisis, there are things you can do to manage the stress that so many of us have been under during the pandemic. Here are some mom-friendly tips:
Meditate
Yes, taking time to yourself to close your eyes and breathe can feel impossible when you are a mom. But just five minutes a day can make a huge difference. Get an app on your phone, plug in your earbuds, and try it. Meditation doesn’t mean clearing your mind of all thoughts, either. It’s just about taking some quiet time to breathe and just be.
Get moving
Exercise releases feel-good hormones and is an excellent way to release stress. You don’t have to do some fancy exercise routine or fit in time at the gym. Put your baby in the stroller and take a walk down the block. Have a dance party with your kids. Just get your body moving. It works!
Sleep
We know that getting enough sleep is kind of a joke when you are a mom. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do what it takes to get at least a few decent hours a night. First, aim for an average of 7-8 hours a day, even if it doesn’t always happen. To do this, you will need to make some demands (yes, your partner can wake up with the kids so you can sleep in on the weekend!) and set some boundaries (put that damn phone away at a decent hour each night).
“Me” time
It’s so important that you remember who you are, beyond your role as “mom.” Carving out even an hour a week to do what it takes to feel like yourself is so important, whether that means a quiet hour to read, writing in your journal, getting together with your friends, or attending your favorite dance class. Make sure you make this a priority this year — you deserve and need it.
Where to go from here
All parents are struggling in some way right now. Remember that you aren’t alone — not at all. Most of all, please make your mental health a priority this year. This isn’t the time to be a martyr, and the only way we can show up fully for our children is if we show up fully for ourselves.
