The pandemic changed all our lives in more ways than one. We think about germs and each other differently than we used to. Motherhood and how we entertain our kids have also changed. It’s lonelier than it used to be, and the old advice of getting out and make friends with other moms doesn’t make much sense these days.
As a stay-at-home mom, I used to think that my kids and I needed to get out and go somewhere every day. We needed playdates with other kids. So I worked hard to find and cultivate friendships with other moms with kids close in age to mine. I had my mom village to reach out to get out of the house and vent to when the kids were being crazy.
Soon the mom friends I made just became friends
My village was small, but we bonded quickly over the insanity that is motherhood. It began as a way for my kids to have playdates, but it also became about cultivating friendships with these women. Soon we were bonding over things that didn’t involve our kids. One of them even wrote fiction, so we got to click on a whole other level. We motivated each other to follow our passions by sharing our writing with each other.
Once the pandemic hit, that all went out the window — and it hasn’t really changed back.
We lost touch as we dealt with having to stay home
Many of the places that we met up at were closed for a while. Keeping away from other people became the priority. It was no longer about getting out of the house just to get out of the house. It was about keeping everyone safe and healthy. It was about protecting your family from disease.
I missed our talks about kids, life, and writing when we went for walks. I missed the connection I felt with these new friends. Wandering the zoo or watching our kids play together has become a thing of the past.
I got used to the so-called new normal
I adjusted my perspective on playdates. My entire mentality about needing to get out of the house shifted. It had to. I changed how I looked at things. I focused on visiting with family members once things calmed down a bit.
While outings with my mom village may have dwindled, the pandemic taught me that we can adjust and work for the things that matter most. Even though we haven’t seen each other in so long, I still text these women to see how they’re doing.
Sometimes they answer, and sometimes they don't
It’s definitely not the same as it used to be. I still try to keep in touch because maybe someday we’ll start getting together again, and I don’t want to completely lose them while waiting for someday to arrive. I miss my village — but I know they won’t be gone forever.
