I love my gym, but there is a sign hanging on the wall there that I hate so much. It reads: Smile at least one time while you are here. The thing is, I am there to work out and push myself. I’m not there to please people because they are uncomfortable with a woman who isn’t smiling as she’s lifting weights or running on the treadmill, sweating in every crack and crevice, and taking some much-needed alone time.
Exercising takes focus. It’s freaking hard. Moms who are at the gym are usually short on time and patience and don’t feel like smiling while they're doing squats. They're there to get their sh!t done and leave. Not to look around with a fake smile plastered to their face.
I mean, that actually sounds pretty creepy
I also don’t always smile in pictures or while I’m waiting in line at a fast-food restaurant. I’ve been this way my whole life. I used to hear things like, “I thought you were a bitch until I got to know you.” Apparently, I look like a miserable hag when I’m not smiling, but I’m OK with that because I know I am a happy person who just doesn’t feel like smiling.
Unbeknownst to a lot of people, those two things can exist within one person. When people ask me why I’m not smiling, it’s annoying. It doesn’t feel natural to me, and I never think about doing it, so I don’t.
If you're going to be rude enough to ask someone why they aren’t smiling, tell them to smile, or say something like, “You're so pretty! You should smile more!” be prepared for an honest response. Because what you're really saying to that person is, “You are making me uncomfortable because I feel like you aren’t happy.” Honestly, you should get comfortable with their unsmiling face because what they say to you after making a comment like that will probably make you even more uncomfortable.
It used to be a concern of mine when I was younger
I didn’t want to seem crabby, and I wanted people to think I was fun and approachable. But no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t a natural smiler then and I’m not now.
I believe you can tell someone to have a good day and mean it, without smiling. I think you can be having a great time and not show it on your face. I know you can feel content and peaceful without smiling. I know this because that’s my life.
I’m not saying smiling isn’t great, doesn’t put people at ease, and it’s fake all the time
What I'm saying is there are lots of women who simply don’t feel like smiling. There are thousands of reasons for that. They could be having a horrible day and don’t have the energy to try and put on a happy face, or maybe they're like me and find smiling a lot isn’t something that comes naturally to them and it rarely crosses their mind.
Whatever the reason for their expression, telling someone to smile probably isn’t going to make them smile. Stop taking it so personally because their lack of a smile probably has nothing to do with you, which means you don’t have to make it your job to fix it. Isn’t that great news? It almost makes me want to smile. Almost.
