Pregnancy Advice Throughout History

According to The Distaff Gospels, a 15th century text, if a man’s feet were soiled or smelly during conception, the resulting child would be born with a permanent malodor. Specifically, boys would suffer from some seriously bad breath, while girls would have “a stinky rear end.”

If you were in the throes of a difficult labor in 11th century Europe, midwives might recommend pepper-induced sneezing, tying a snakeskin around your loins or drinking the milk of another woman. If those tactics failed, you could eat butter or cheese into which specific baby-inducing words had been carved.

When she was having trouble getting pregnant, France’s 16th century Queen Catherine de Medici was told to drink mare’s urine, and to soak her privates in a delightful combination of cow manure and ground stag's antlers. While no thanks to this rather gross ritual, Catherine eventually had not one, but nine, children.

To determine if a woman was able to bear children, Hippocrates suggested placing a head of garlic into her womb. If her breath smelled of garlic the next day, one could conclude that she could not conceive because there was nothing inside her body to block the aroma, and more importantly, house a baby. Surprisingly, this can be a decent indicator of pregnancy, but we'd prefer to just take a modern-day pregnancy test.

Second century Greek physician Soranus urged men looking for a fertile mate to consider her bowel habits: chronic constipation could suffocate a fetus, while bouts of diarrhea might wash it away. Unfortunately he didn’t offer any tips on how a guy could work intestinal fortitude into the “getting to know you” stage of a relationship.

To increase the chances of a having a male child, one 18th century medical text from France recommended some his and hers cocktails: red wine with minced rabbit’s womb for him and red wine with pulverized rabbit’s testicles for her. Sounds like the start of a beautiful date night!

An unsatisfied woman would never get pregnant according to second century doctor and philosopher Galen. He believed that conception required both man and woman to have an orgasm. His claim was very popular (especially among the ladies) and led to some of the first sex guides ever written.

You were—or rather, your child was—what you ate, according to Native American lore. Moms were typically told to avoid berries (which could cause birthmarks) and salmon, which might lead to weak ankles. Masochistic parents aiming to increase their sleepless nights could ingest seagulls to ensure a crybaby.

As late as the 19th century, it was largely believed that what a pregnant woman looked at, or even thought about, could influence how attractive her child would be. Exposure to ugly, disfigured or sick people might result in a child born with a cleft lip, birthmark or Steve Buscemi’s facial features.

Tobacco companies ran physician-endorsed ads in the 1940s and '50s that implied smoking was actually good for an expectant mom because it was so relaxing. Pregnancy and Birth: A Book for Expectant Moms from 1962 whistled a similar tune, suggesting cigarettes to help with prenatal constipation.