Overstimulation: What It Is and 3 Solutions

Overstimulation is when there is so much coming at you that you feel overwhelmed and overly sensitive to things. You’ll feel as if there isn’t enough time to get the things done that need to get done. You'll feel high highs and low lows, such as feeling extremely sad if your child is disappointed in something small. You snap at your partner and children easily, not knowing what has you so on edge.

It’s common to feel frustrated when doing simple tasks. For example, you might lose it while doing the laundry because a stain didn’t come out. You may also experience rage for things like someone cutting you off on the highway. All of these are the reactions of someone who is overstimulated. Overstimulation goes beyond just feeling like everything is out of control; it has a physiological response as well.

“An overstimulated mom is someone who is constantly in an excited state,” Amanda Lundberg, BSN, RN, explained to Mom.com. “This excited state raises your pulse, increases your blood pressure, and surges your cortisol levels.”

The raised level of stimulation over a long period of time can take its toll on your health.

It’s easy to understand the causes of overstimulation. You simply have too much going on. Your life went from caring only about you to being responsible for a little person who relies on you for everything. There is a lot of pressure to get things right. That pressure heightens your sensitivity to little things.

You have more laundry and more dishes. You’re dealing with your baby’s sleep schedule and likely are a little sleep-deprived yourself. Sleep deprivation might add to your feelings, like there isn’t enough time to get it all done. You may also be dealing with postpartum hormone levels that can wreak havoc on your emotional stability. Everything is heightened, and you find yourself riding the roller coaster of emotions for anything and everything. This only further exhausts you and takes time away from getting things done to manage your life, work, and household.

Allowing overstimulation to take over isn’t good as it can affect your ability to do things well. You may become burnt out or even depressed, which comes with its own series of problems. “I was so exhausted with having two children only 14 months apart who weren’t sleeping that my body just gave out,” mom Karin Monster-Peters, PsyD, expressed to Pysch Central in an article titled "When You’re a Highly Sensitive Mom." She elaborated, “I couldn’t even lift my arms to pick up my crying baby. I developed an extreme sleep disorder, which led to fibromyalgia.” As you can see, the results can be devastating.

Dealing with overstimulation requires that you tune in to what is triggering you and try to take a different approach to things. At first, this may seem like you’re just adding another task to the list, but it is necessary to understand the situation and address it logically, not emotionally. Here are three ways to cope with, and find relief from, overstimulation:

1. Don't compare yourself to other parents
While it may appear that they have it all together, chances are that others around you are struggling to get it all done as well. Some may even have more help than you do. Avoid trying to keep up with other moms. Know what you can do and prioritize the things that you need to get done. What’s important to you should guide you in developing boundaries.

2. Reduce stimulation with self-care
On top of finding a routine that takes some of the stress off of you and works better for your situation, look for something that helps calm you down. This might be doing yoga or meditating while the baby naps. You may be trying to nap yourself or run around getting things done during this time, but you can be more effective if you can quiet your mind and collect yourself. You might take up a new hobby like painting or even grabbing a coloring book for adults. This helps focus the mind and gives you something relaxing to do.

3. Don't hesitate to seek professional help
If you can’t seem to get any relief, consider seeking professional help from a licensed therapist. They can talk you through your overstimulation to help you identify your priorities and make the positive changes in your life that you desire.

"I know you may feel that you have no time, and that it’s just too damn hard, but your mental health matters," mom Wendy Wisner wrote for Mom.com about her successful experience with online therapy. "You can’t be the parent you want to be for your kids if you are falling apart yourself."