Is it time for us to take away one another's smartphones? I'm thinking yes.
Despite my ongoing rally for resilience in all things motherhood, current events are proving to be a bit too much โ mentally, emotionally, physically. Los Angeles, where I live, has pretty much burned, destroyed, and spiritually obliterated my once-rosy perspective.
Partly because too many moms are being too mean to one another online.
We need to stop. Now.
It pains me to point out that most of the peer-to-peer social media character assassination seems to be rooted in parents slinging knee-jerk insults at each other while waiting in line to shop at Trader Joe's. You've seen it. I've seen it. We've all maybe done it. We're all guilty of this demise and divisiveness โ even if we might not realize or admit it.
I am unquestionably depleted by all of it.
"If you still have a nanny/sitter, you're part of the problem" vs. "What's wrong with you for not putting a mask on your 5-year-old?" vs. "Anyone who thinks it's OK for kids to return to school is nuts" vs. "What you think and/or researched does not align with what I think and/or researched (and here's how I'm going to bully you into submission and try to get you kicked out of this Facebook group…)"
And those are just the posts.
The individual comments and individualized attacks are downright embarrassing for all of us.
What's most confusing? Many of the same moms who claim to be outraged by any kind of hate are seemingly first to pounce and attack a stranger, an IRL friend, or a past colleague should that person have an opposing point of view. I sometimes wonder if phone calls are ever exchanged these days between those who have different opinions yet know each other in real life? I'm guessing not.
We've conveniently forgotten decency.
How novel it would be if we all just stopped yelling at one another online and tended to our own kids, our own homes, our own families, our own friends, our own health, and our own jobs โ like the old-fashioned days that we've collectively acknowledged to have been seemingly better than this mess we're in now.
What if we opted not to attack, berate, falsely accuse and/or put words in someone else's mouth because we didn't agree with them (assuming what they communicated was not a direct threat to community/personal safety)?
What if we just continued to scroll?
Or, what if we all took a big break from social media โ for one day, a weekend, a whole week! โ and actually spent concentrated time with our kids while reaffirming our values, how to treat others, and how to think as individuals through our actions.
Because too much of the vitriol that's fueling everything right now is coming from parents who should probably be grounded from social media.
Didn't we all collectively agree that online mom-shaming โ for the opinions or choices each of us must make according to our own locations, lifestyles, and backgrounds โ is despicable? Or does that rule only pertain to breastfeeding and working full-time? Please tell me the guidelines again, because I'm seriously upset.
As a public media/opinion personality, I share thoughts, articles, and/or videos that I find fascinating โ media that sometimes offers a different perspective and challenges us to think deeply and analyze past a mainstream narrative. As a mom, I am utterly drained, saddened, and infuriated by unending comments, accusations, and flat-out harassments between so many women who are raising this next generation. The media part of me deeply values freedom of speech and conversation โ even if it gets rude. The private citizen part of me wishes all of us would just shut up โ which is why I've pretty much opted out of most social media lately.
And what about that buzzy go-to parenting mantra that we love so much? The one about being "kind"? I guess we're not in this together then?
Attend a peaceful protest and share pictures and videos if it moves you? Yes! Share an alternative point of view if it strikes you as mind-blowing? Yes! Attack a stranger or friend's personal character because they do not see the world in the same way you see it or did not express something in the exact same way you would express it?ย No social media for you for the next two weeks!
Because if we don't grow up now โ with our own actions, words, and social media stabbings โ our kids' future is disappointingly doomed at the sole fault of our own behavior.
Kids are watching. Reading. Listening. Learning. And they're onto us whether we admit it or not. Be the change? Be kind? Be decent? Yes, let's.
Signing off, until further notice.
