Stop working and spend more time with your kids! That’s the urgent message successful tech CEO J.R. Storment and his wife doctor wife Jessica Brandes have for all parents after the unexpected death of their 8-year-old son, Wiley. Despite their undeniable success in each of their professions, the couple just posted two heartfelt essays on LinkedIn with a simple message: Life is short. Spend more time with your children.
We all hate to think about it, as if just thinking about something bad happening to one of our children will somehow make it come true, but the loss of a child is something that has certainly crossed my mind. Like most parents, I usher the very thought as quickly as it comes to mind. When it comes to the what ifs of parenting, just thinking about them are terrifying enough, but Brandes' and Storment’s words have become unshakable to me.
Since reading their words and thinking about their tragic story, I’ve found myself wondering how I’d parent differently if I knew which day was my last with my children. Quickly, I thought I’d pay less attention to nutrition, bedtime, and homework. “I’d want every minute to be fun,” I thought to myself. “To hell with bedtime and soccer practice.”
I’m going to savor the time with my kids.
Yet as I spent a little more time on the subject, I’ve come to believe that the point of the grieving parents' posts wasn’t to encourage parents to give up on any structure or discipline for our kids. And truthfully, if today were my last, I’d take great solace in knowing I’d set my kids up for a future of good habits and the ability to keep themselves healthy and happy.
What I'd do if today were my last day ..?
What I’d really do differently is be more mentally present. I'd have more patience, not sweat the small stuff, and take greater joy in the day-to-day routine of life — homework and all. In other words, I’d do exactly as Wiley’s parents suggested: I’d spend more quality time with my kids.
Since none of us knows how much time we have with our children, I’m going to attempt to parent more as if each day were my last. I’m going to cherish my daughter asking to play Boggle rather than attempt to get out of it. I’m going to sit a little longer and read to my kids. I'm going to answer that email a little later and really hear about my son’s day.
I’m going to savor the time with my kids. Because if there’s anything Wiley Storment’s tragic passing has to teach us, it's that no amount of time is enough with our children. So, I'm going to be grateful for the time I do have and really make it count.
