I sometimes complain about how tired and overwhelmed I am as a working mother of two. But I quickly remember I am in much better shape than most. I am not doing this alone, I am not a single mom, and I have a hardworking and exceedingly helpful husband to help bear the burden of my long, endless days.
I was raised by a single mom and I saw her struggles up front
For most of my childhood, she cared for us with very little outside support. She taught special ed all day and then came home to her two wild, intense daughters. I used to complain that she’d often need to rest after school when we needed homework help, or that we sometimes had to prepare our own dinners. I hated having to do my own laundry and pack my own lunch every morning.
But the truth is, until I became a mom myself, I didn’t understand that it was impossible to “do it all” as a mom, much less as a single mom. You see, although my mom faced many challenges, she was always there for us. She loved us unconditionally, and never failed to show up for us and our lives. She was always there to talk. She believed in us.
Though she relied on us to pick up the slack at home, and perhaps become independent more than other kids our age, my sister and I are stronger for it. My mom struggled as a single mom, but she also raised two confident, successful daughters.
My sister and I are strong AF, and it’s largely because of our mom
I know that in my own life, my ability to persevere through difficulties and fight for what I believe in has everything to do with being raised by a badass single mom. For many years, I’ve been successfully self-employed, and I think the fact that growing up, I was always in charge of my own studies and had more responsibilities than most is part of why I have thrived as a self-starter.
My mom is still my rock today, and she shows up for my family whenever I need her. When my kids were young, she would drop whatever she was doing if I needed childcare support. She would literally do anything for me or her grandkids. Family is the center of her life now, just as it was when I was growing up. She taught me the importance of showing up, of loving someone without expecting anything back.
I know there are a lot of single parents out there now who struggle
I know that one of the things they struggle with most is feeling like they have somehow failed their kids because they can’t be everything at once to them. I want all the single parents out there to know that you really are doing great. Life may not look perfect, but that doesn’t matter. What your kids need most is your presence and love.
Most importantly, though you may struggle, you are teaching your kids about what it means to push through against tremendous odds, and this is a lesson they will carry with them for life. You are your kids’ role model, and though you may worry at times, your kids are going to be alright. I promise.
