How I Finally Made a Decision on Whether or Not to Send My Kid Back to School

School reopening is scary.

Parenting is usually filled with uncertainty, but nothing prepared us for back-to-school 2020. This year, the school system and parents face a task they have not faced before, and parents must choose whether to send their kids to school, in person, virtually, homeschool, or some other unique combination.

Parents are conflicted and uncertain trying to find the “right” choice. Further complicating the choice are the inconsistent recommendations and inconsistent messaging. Whether to send a child to school and have that child return home healthy is something mothers of the past have taken for granted — we all took it for granted. Some parents have already decided what to do in a few short weeks, others have not, and the uncertainty and conflict of 2020 continues on.

Al that said, there is no way in hell I am sending my child to school.

There is too much uncertainty. We don’t know how sick kids can get or what will happen when schools reopen. I don’t want our family to be part of it.

Rather, I chose to teach my child from home. I went to law school, passed the bar, practiced law… surely I can teach my child some numbers and letters? I know it won't be easy, so please send all the chocolates and wine to my home address, because I rather take on the most complicated legal case in history than stand in as my child’s teacher.

Even if I wanted to send my child back to school, it’s not going to resemble the school he knows. Teachers and students with masks, coupled with an emphasis on keeping kids away from each other – the exact opposite of socialization — means it won't be the same place he loves. A masked teacher may be smiling underneath that mask, but my young son would never know it.

I know children need socialization. I will commit to Zoom and socially distant playdates. They're not the same, but young kids are resilient. He will bounce back once the world stabilizes after the virus, whenever that may be.

Any academic and social benefit is outweighed by the importance of our family’s health. We have a newborn and I cannot risk my preschooler bringing home COVID-19 and infecting our defenseless baby. We will hide from the world as long as it takes. It’s already been six months, what’s a few more?

It will be a great bonding time. Already, in our six months quarantined together, we’ve grown even closer. While at home, my son thrived both intellectually and creatively. He now speaks like a young gentleman, including throwing my own words back at me. His favorite word of the week is “terrorizes.” Apparently that’s one word I didn’t know I was overusing.

School reopening is not as scary as it seems. Other consequences are worse.

So I am absolutely sending my child to school.

I cannot teach. I am not a teacher. I definitely cannot teach my own son. I don’t have the patience, and I don’t have the skill set to do this. That is why I'm so grateful for the professionals, the actual teachers who are equipped to do that job. You wouldn’t fly to the moon without an astronaut, so why would I approach this year without a teacher?

There is no replacement for socialization. I need it and so does my young child, perhaps he even needs it more than me. Kids crave social connection — it’s integral to our humanity. I can’t deprive my son of what he wants and needs most.

Without an end to this in sight, we have to start living. No one in our family has an underlying condition. Although, we may have to isolate from grandparents, to avoid infecting them, we can’t hide from the world forever.

I am not selfish for wanting to send my son to school. He is young and his mind is a sponge, so he needs all the experience he can possibly get because your mind is only like that for a limited time, which is why I want him to soak up everything he possibly can and needs during this period. He can only do that if he is at school, supplemented by what we can do for him at home.

But, in fact, they have something in common: They both want the very best for their son. They both want to be free from judgment. They don’t want your opinion, they just want your support, because being a mom is already the scariest, hardest, most fulfilling job imaginable.

But what you might not know is that both of these mothers are me.