Mom guilt is so pervasive. We feel guilty if we do and guilty if we don’t, and that goes for everything: working, not running when the baby cries, not letting him cry it out, letting him cry it out. It’s enough to make you cry it out. But how can you handle your mom guilt when you seem to be feeling it over everything? Check out our expert advice and real-world mom tips on how to control that constant gnawing feeling that you’re not doing anything right once you’re a mom.
'Exercise is the best therapy'
“Exercise is the best therapy (run, bike, swim, yoga, anything).”
— Erika Greenblatt-Torres, 19-year teaching veteran, social thinking clinical trainee, and mom of two
Address the bully in your brain
“Answer the bully in your brain like you would a real bully. My therapist taught me this trick, and it helps me recognize when I’m bullying and judging myself and when I might really need to improve.”
— Menucha Citron Ceder, author, blogger, and mom of two
'If my kids are happy, healthy, and thriving, everything is OK'
“‘I’m doing the best I can. I’m not perfect. Nobody’s perfect.’ That’s what I remind myself all the time. I make sure that I spend quality time with my kids (quality over quantity, if at times there needs to be a choice). I talk to them and make sure that I follow up on our conversations. If my kids are happy, healthy, and thriving, everything is OK.”
— Johanna Torres, Mom.com editor and mom of three
Remind yourself that you're important too
“You look yourself in the mirror and you say to yourself, ‘I’m important too. I love my family, but I need my own time, whether it’s going to work, getting a workout in, or having dinner with a friend. I need this time for me, so that I can be the best for them.'”
— Erika Santos, mom of one
Surround yourself with a mom squad
“Stay away from guilt-mongers. They are EVERYWHERE! Surround yourself with a mom squad who are like-minded and get that modern life is a balance. Spending every minute with your kids will make you go bonkers, and if someone makes you feel bad about having to work for a living, cut them out or limit time with them.”
— Nicole Coppola, mom of two
Don't compare yourself to other parents
“Ask yourself whether your children are OK and whether you are trying your best. If you answered yes to both, let go of mom guilt. And stop comparing yourself to other parents!”
— Jeannette Kaplun, award-winning journalist, content creator, and mom of two
You are not alone!
“We all have mom guilt — you are not alone! We can only do so much as moms, and it’s important to take care of ourselves as well. If we don’t put our needs first once in a while, our kids wind up suffering because we’re exhausted, stressed, and on full overload. I remind myself that the happier I am, the happier my son is. And the harder I work, the happier we both are in the long run, even if that means sometimes I have to sacrifice time with him.”
— Mary Hawkins, Mom.com editor and mom of one
'Give yourself the patience and forgiveness to learn'
“Just remember that we’re all doing the best we can. We are learning from zero. Even with multiple kids, there’s always something different. Give yourself the patience and forgiveness to learn. Learn about them, and learn about yourself. Learn what is important to you and what you want to pass on. A clean house isn’t everyone’s priority.”
— Trang Le, mom of one
'Happy and healthy mom = happy and healthy kids'
“Remind yourself that you are doing your very best — and that is the most important thing. Happy and healthy mom = happy and healthy kids.”
— Christine, mom of two
Practice self-care without guilt
“I remind myself that I can’t take care of others if I don’t take care of myself.”
— Marie Truong, mom of three
Why the guilt?
“What are you guilty about? You’re working to provide an amazing life for your child. Own it! Make sure to spend good, relaxing quality time with them; it’s much better than crappy quantity time.”
— Shazia, mom of two
Accept that you are doing your best
“Accept the fact that no one is perfect, and know that you are doing your best. Own the fact that some days you are going to rock this thing called motherhood, and some days you will fall short. But that thing that is tearing you up inside, your child probably doesn’t even register it’s a problem, so you don’t need to feel guilty. The fact that you are concerned about your parenting enough to feel guilt means you are already a better parent than many out there.”
— Ashleigh Adams, mom of one
Share stories with other moms
“Talk with other moms! No one is perfect, and sharing our mediocre mom stories helps get rid of guilt.”
— Cathlene Yapyuco Wong, mom of two
