My mom is still here with us — thank you, God — but she’s been having major health issues for quite some time.
For a while, it felt like maybe I had done something wrong. I wouldn’t hear from her. She would say she was tired. I would call and she wouldn’t answer the phone.
I took it personally. I didn’t understand what was going on.
But now I have answers about her health that I didn’t before. I know the fatigue and weight loss are all a part of her advanced lung disease. I know the lack of oxygen makes her tired. I know her memory isn’t as good as it once was. I know that if I want to talk to her, I have to call her.
Watching the one woman who meant everything and did everything for me her whole life get older has been hard. I miss all the time we used to spend together. I miss her sense of humor and frank conversation. I miss being able to lean on her. I know I can’t lean on her now as it would be unfair.
This is why I am so thankful for Joyce.
For many years, my mom worked with Joyce. I’d come into my mother’s office and get to talk to Joyce. She was always sweet, fun and had the cutest clothes. Joyce watched me grow up and become a mom myself. Over the years, she became a friend, and now, like a surrogate mother to me.
I’m now a single mom living just 15 minutes away from her. Since we're so close by, we see each other pretty regularly.
We often don’t really know how our little gestures add up for others, but they really do.
I can’t begin to thank her for how many times she made me smile — especially all those times when I came to visit her feeling depressed and down.
Often times we just meet for dinner, but for me it's always more than dinner — it’s being the recipient of her wisdom and compassion. The listening ear and caring heart. The sense of humor and frankness that, while different from my mom, seems like home after growing up seeing Joyce year after year.
She feeds me with genuine love and care , empathy and really good food — she makes amazing pasta fagioli!
When someone listens to you and feeds you (both literally and emotionally), that is genuine love and care from the heart.
It helps to know that she's already gone through many of the things I did: divorce and raising a daughter who is also an only child like mine. She’s seen hard times in life and grown from it. She’s embraced her friends and family and made happiness for herself in this world, something that can be hard for me — finding happiness in the dark times.
She’s watched me go through divorce, lose a home, lose a job and get back up again. No matter what the situation, her radiant heart always listened to my sad one as I got a little bit stronger each time.
Our lives are different, but she can listen to my experiences and give me reflections that are more than the reflections of a friend. They’re the reflections and wisdom of someone who has been there, done that.
The reflections of someone who really knows.
Her kindness and open heart are incomparable. Every time she has offered me a hug, message or her time, it has made me feel cared about and get some of what I once got from my mom.
We often don’t really know how our little gestures add up for others, but they really do. Every kind gesture from Joyce has meant so much to me.
So Happy Mother’s Day to Joyce. To someone who is a “mom” to more than just her children and grandchildren. To someone who brings joy to those of us needing sunshine after the crappy, nasty, yucky rainy storms of life.
I love you more than words can express.
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