Finding Time for Yourself as a New Mom

As a new mom, you are just learning the endless demands on your time. The care of your new baby is a 24/7 job and you give willingly—but it can be exhausting. Carving out time for yourself, though, is not a luxury. Decide what's important to you, accept that you should delegate some responsibilities and make this important time of your life beneficial to all. Mom expert, strategy coach and author Mia Redrick shows you how.

A good place to start is to give a quick thought to what is important to you. "I find a lot of moms can't identify what 'all' is," says Redrick, author of "Time for Mom-Me: 365 Daily Strategies for a Mother's Self-Care." "If you were going to have a minute for yourself, what would you love to do? A lot of moms don't take care of themselves because they can't answer that question." Don't overthink it. Just 30 minutes to an hour on the couch to watch your favorite TV show when your husband comes home can go a long way.

A critical second step is understanding this time is not selfish; it's a necessity for you and your family. Your personal well-being pays dividends throughout the household. "Any part of our lives [as moms] that we grow through self-care, whether it's working out, eating healthier or cultivating a hobby, directly benefits our family," says Redrick. "Self-care is not an added part of life, it is an integrated part of motherhood."

Now that you're comfortable with the idea of some "me time," get it down on paper. What are your hobbies? What exercises do you like? What’s your ideal way to relax? While the baby is down for a nap, take that time to learn more about you. Go back and ask yourself what you liked or were good at during earlier periods in your life. "Sometimes you forget that you liked to paint and that the easel and brushes are in the garage," Redrick says.

The next step is stop trying to do everything yourself, and to start delegating a little. Have your spouse clean up the dishes, pick up groceries or cook dinner. Taking on too much will keep you in a constant state of exhaustion. But delegating helps you recharge your batteries, which will make you a better mother and wife. "Moms often operate as an island—we do everything by ourselves all of the time," Redrick says. "We need to start incorporating others into our space."

It's natural for moms to want to spend every moment with the infant, but a little time away—even if it is just in another room—is good for both of you. You can start with a babysitter for an hour, so you can do yoga exercises in the living room. This way, you are close, but also have uninterrupted time for yourself. Next step would be hiring a babysitter for the afternoon so you can get a massage.

Those sticking to a budget can still carve out time for themselves. One way is to find other moms who will host a playdate, Redrick suggests. For example, say you want to work out twice a week for an hour and a half. Perhaps one of your mom friends wants a date night with her hubby for three hours. You two could agree to watch each other's children.

Instead of spending hours doing laundry and folding clothes, send your laundry to the local fluff-n-fold. Outsource the housework that takes up too much time, Redrick says. Many supermarkets deliver, so order your groceries online. And, of course, don't overlook having a meal or two delivered.

The reason people date, Redrick says, is it allows you to build a relationship with the person you are dating (in this case, yourself). It will allow you to hear yourself think and to become more clear on what you like, what you dislike and what you love. Since dates take up more time, it takes a little planning. Make sure to schedule a weekly babysitter, or ask a family member to watch your baby, so you can enjoy your dates worry-free. "I date my kids once a month, I date my husband every other week and I date myself once a week," says Redrick.

Some moms don’t know what they want to do when they start dating themselves. Try different activities, like signing up for a four-week cooking course or buying tickets to a speaker series on the weekends when your spouse or partner can watch the baby. "When you buy things in advance, you are committed and you show up," Redrick said. Be consistent to show your family that this is important.