Dear Husband,
Every year at this time of year, I see you staring over a blank page as you carefully craft your list of New Year’s resolutions. If this year is like every other, your list will include something related to exercise, something related to professional goals, and definitely something related to spending more time with the kids. All those resolutions are great — but this year, I’d like to offer an addition to your list of New Year’s resolutions. Truth be told, there’s just one thing I would really appreciate you doing next year — and that would be to finish one thing.
See, now that we’ve been married a while, and we’ve had a good amount of New Year's Days together, I’ve noticed that you always attempt to complete the same list of tasks.
But let’s be honest, you rarely do
You also don’t really complete tasks at home. It’s not that you’re not helpful, but your "finish the job" rating is pretty low. Sure, you’re well-intended and want to help. You offer assistance whenever you see something that needs to be done, but you don’t often complete what you offer to do. That means it still needs to be done — by me.
Let me explain.
You're quick to offer help when and if you can
You always have the best, biggest ideas for house projects, travel ideas, or excursions with the kids. You’ll help around the house when you notice something needs to be done. You just don’t actually finish what you start, which means someone else has to.
When I mention it to you, you’ll say, “I wasn’t leaving it for you. I was leaving it.” But unless you’ve hired a full staff for the house and didn’t tell me, whatever you don’t complete is left with the assumption it will be completed by me.
This is not meant to sound nitpicky or ungrateful
I’m sure you’re thinking that most spouses would be grateful just to have a partner who is willing to help. In theory, that’s correct. While I am grateful, I’d be even more grateful if your help didn’t mean me also having to pick up where you left off.
My list is already long, so it’s not help on your part if I also have to finish your to-do list simply because you got distracted, bored or didn’t know how to do it — so you just didn’t.
While I support your resolution to “hit the gym every day” and I think it’s great you want to read more books, connect more often with friends, and travel more in the new year, I’d be just as happy if you just put the laundry in the dryer instead of leaving it soaking wet because you think "doing the laundry" means starting the laundry.
I’d be thrilled if you helped the kids finish all their homework, not just some of it. And I’d be appreciative if when you said, “Just send me a list and I’ll pick up the groceries,” you got everything on the list and not just the things that were easy to find.
So, in the new year, maybe make it your goal to finish what you start
Because whatever you don’t do, I have to do. And my New Year’s resolution is to take more time for me. That’s going to be pretty difficult to do if I’m always picking up after you.
Love,
Your Thankful But Exhausted Wife
