When my kids were little, I’d rush through the grocery store. It was practically the only thing I did alone, and for some reason, I thought I had to get through it as fast as possible because my job as a mom was to care for them every waking second.
In those days, I had three kids under 3, and I needed to take more time for myself — and no, grocery shopping didn’t count. I did look forward to the fact that I could get a Diet Coke and drink it in peace on the way home, but it never failed: The guilt of leaving them overtook me, and I’d try to get home as fast as I could only to find them having a ball with their father and not missing me at all.
It wasn’t until my youngest was 4 that I spent an entire day home alone
My two older kids were in school, and my then husband took our youngest away for the weekend. For six hours, I stared at the television in between washing the curtains and baseboards. I literally didn’t even know what to do with myself because I’d gotten so out of practice at doing things for me.
This is not to brag – I was in desperate need of some "me" time, and so were my kids and husband. The truth is, I wasn’t the best mom then. Sure, I was hovering over my babies every waking second, thinking no one could do the kind of job I could, but I was worn so thin I was about to break.
My temper was short
I didn’t even know what I liked to do anymore, and my best friend told me I always seemed stressed out.
That’s because when you don’t take time for yourself, you are running on empty. As soon as something unexpected happens, or you have an interruption in your day — which is everyday when you have kids — you want to crumble.
If you aren’t taking the time to invest in yourself, you stop replenishing that much-needed energy it takes to be a mom.
And to be a good mom, that's necessary
Going away with your partner or friends, going shopping alone, going to therapy, or taking some time to shut yourself in your room don’t mean you're a neglectful mom. Let’s face it, they aren’t running around in the streets with only a diaper on while you're soaking in the tub. They love spending time with adults who aren’t you, and honestly, they will like you a lot better if you aren’t so crabby all the time.
You know it’s true
The next time the guilt sets in because you want to go for a walk alone, or you have the urge to take up a new hobby that will require you to be away from them, remember this: Investing in yourself and taking time away from them is a huge gift to you. That translates into a huge gift for your kids. So, consider this your sign to take some time for you.
