Like a lot of moms, this morning marked a day I had — perhaps a tad shamefully — been looking forward to for about a week now: the first day back to school after holiday break.
Although I definitely enjoyed having my kids home over the holiday break, and relished not having to haul everyone out in the cold every morning, by the end of the holidays, with over-sugared kids, nonstop sniffles, and without so much as a second to myself, I was definitely looking forward to a little peace and quiet back at home.
As my big kids mourned the loss of their freedom, I gleefully dropped them off and dreamed of the hot cup of coffee and Netflix bingeing — while relaxing and cleaning with the baby at home — I had waiting for me.
Of course, because #momlife, the baby decided to boycott naps today, Netflix would not work, and I got precisely zero things done, but that's beside the point.
The point is, this morning, I felt like I could finally take a deep breath again. Because as holiday break crawled to an end, more than one of these thoughts definitely passed through my mind.
Will my kids actually even notice if I throw out every single present they got for Christmas?
So. Many. Presents.
Not even joking, I'm 99.99% sure they wouldn't even bat an eyelash if they all disappeared overnight. How annoying.
Is it possible that my kids' sugar tolerance has been forever changed by all the holiday treats they consumed?
Making a mental note to make sure I'm not the one to take them to their next dentist visit.
Next year, we are cutting WAY back on the holidays
I mean it this time! No, seriously — I do!
(Glares at snickering husband.)
Honestly, it might be better to just sell the house at this point, rather than try to clean this post-holiday mess
"Hello, local realtor? Yes, do you do any house staging? And what if I change my mind about selling? Do I get charged? Ahem."
You know that stage in the teen years where parents talk about how their kids want nothing to do with them?
Maybe that doesn't sound so bad right now.
Yeah, yeah, "you're going to miss this" and all that.
I swear on my life, if my kids ask for one more snack, I'm going to lose my mind
YOU ATE BREAKFAST 12 MINUTES AGO!!!
Are my kids trying to drive me crazy with all the random messes everywhere?
There is no reason at all I should be cleaning up underwear in the kitchen, socks in my office, and a box of Cheez-its (!) on the back of the freaking toilet, and yet, here we are. You know that story about the mom who once left a Q-tip on the floor just to see how long it would take her family to pick it up, and it went on for years? Yeah, I absolutely believe it.
I am totally going to organize ALL THE THINGS in this house!
Marie Kondo got nothin' on me, beeyatches!
Eh, you know what? There's always next year.
