Rule: An Orderly Home
"Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit."
This quote, straight out of out of the 1950's "Good Wife's Guide," feels like a cult rule rather than a guide to a good marriage. While I'm sure all of us can appreciate a orderly home, from drop-offs and picking up the kids, working a full-time job, grocery shopping and feeding everyone, the home as a place of peace and order falls way down on the priority list.
Rule: Prepare the Children
Why? So they can pose for an impromptu Norman Rockwell portrait? No thanks, "Good Wife Guidelines"! If there's ever a time for the kids to be "prepared," it's during crunch time before school. And for the best results, it should be a mutual effort!
Rule: Have Dinner Ready
Perhaps this would be doable. That is if all mothers and wives were single-task servants whose only concern were their husbands' needs. We love our husbands, but it is not the wife's job (sorry "1950s Wife's Guide Rules"!) to make sure he is fed the moment his elbows hit the dining room table. And if he has something to say about it, there's this awesome app called Seamless. It's blowing up right now.
Rule: Don't Talk
According to an article called "7 Tips For Keeping Your Man" from the 1950s, you should just sit, look pretty and nod along as your husband talks about his day. WRONG! Whether it's the political climate or the latest episode of 'Scandal," if you feel like talking about it, do. Just don't give away any spoilers!
Rule: Arrange His Pillow
Unless you are receiving the same royal treatment, we strongly urge that you dismiss this rule (and the one that suggests taking off his shoes) from "The Good Wife's Guide." Remember: You are teaching your kids to take their own shoes off, so why should your husband be exempt?
Rule: Prepare Yourself
While we can get on board with the recommended 15 minutes of rest time, we're going to amend this rule a bit and encourage that, instead of being "a little gay and a little more interesting" for your husband's sake, focus on treating yourself to some R&R and making yourself feel good.
Rule: Minimize All Noise
No way! This rule is a definite one to break. Turn up your favorite playlist so that it can almost contend with your awesome singing voice. The husband and kids are, of course, welcome to participate.
Rule: Don't Greet Him With Problems
Hopefully you married your best friend. If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't keep things bottled up for fear of upsetting your partner like this rule suggests. You could end up missing an opportunity to talk about what's bothering you, which may lead to even bigger problems down the line.
Rule: Clear Away the Clutter
On top of making dinner, "preparing" the children, fluffing bedroom pillows and thinking of something particularly interesting to say, make sure that the house is also perfectly neat and tidy. Instead, we're going to vouch for a chore chart. Assign different tasks to different people each day of the week. It's efficient, fair and up-to-date.
Rule: Don't Complain If He's Out All Night
If you take the time to make your family dinner, and your husband either shows up late or dismisses you altogether by staying out all night, you should absolutely complain! This rule is just plain odd, rude and unacceptable. So protest to your heart's content!
